Just Me(g)

healthy living...mostly

2011-09-07T15:32:00.000-06:00

so a___ and i started doing the abs diet about seven weeks ago and were pretty diligent about it until we went to stl last weekend. i've found that i really enjoy working out because it is difficult, but i know that i can do it and then when i feel sore the next day (or couple of days) i know that i'm building muscles in new places! the "diet" is really more of just a healthy eating plan - no white flour (which i was already doing), very little to no added sugar, nuts and veggies, low salt and low fat dairy and meats. of course we did throw in a few extra dark chocolate bars, but really, for the most part i think a shift towards a healthier diet has been successful. i was already eating fewer carbs than a lot of people because i try to limit myself so that i don't have to give myself as much insulin throughout the day but now i'm trying to eat fewer carbs and more protein to slim down even more. it's not always easy, especially on the days when my blood sugar gets low and i end up eating 100-400 calories more than i had anticipated but i know that overall i am making good food choices and that will (hopefully) get easier.

our trip to stl was filled with eating. we had pizza and ribs and ted drewes and and and. it was delicious and i think tasted even better after 6 1/2 weeks of "dieting". it was a whirlwind trip filled with lots of family and friends and fun but it's always nice to come home and sleep in my own bed. i'm back to the working out today and hopefully in another six weeks i will see even more results.

i continue to have very good control of my diabetes, my last a1c a few weeks ago was a 6% and i attribute it to four things: more exercise, better eating, my insulin pump and testing 8+ times per day. i am so thankful for the health benefits that my job provides me and i am lucky to have the good health that i do.

Update

2011-06-07T17:29:00.003-06:00

School continues. It feels like it's going to last forever, but I know it really won't. I'm taking Physics I, Calc III and Biochem I for the summer and so far enjoying the classes, but I'm sure that they will get progressively more difficult as the semester goes on.

I moved to Sandy (ugh) and for the first time since moving from Provo, am not living in Salt Lake City proper. I really like living with A___, but it is hard adjusting. I lived by myself for almost two years before this so it's a BIG change to being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want to having to take someone else's opinions/desires/etc. into account when making decisions. Sometimes it's simple things like what we buy at the grocery store or what temperature to keep the house at. Sometimes it's more than that.

I did start mountain biking with A___ and so far it's very enjoyable, although I don't love it like he does (yet). It's fun going downhill and the exercise isn't bad either...

My a1c has been great for the last 6 months; 6.6 then 6.0 then back to 6.6. I'm happy with where things are and would like to continue that trend of less than 7. I've been much healthier in general. I walk a couple miles on days that I commute by train (which is generally 4/5 weekdays) and I'm much better about what I eat (and what I don't).

Work is just....work. I do have a great job and I have a good relationship with my supervisor and other coworkers, but work is work is work.

Currently listening...

2011-06-07T17:18:00.002-06:00

Oops. I totally spaced posting any music for May. Here's a (truncated) list!

1. Morgan Page - Strange Condition
2. George Acosta feat. Fisher - Love Rain Down
3. Laura Jansen - Use Somebody (Armin Van Buuren remix)
4. Kaskade - Everything (Big Room remix)
5. Armin Van Buuren - Zocalo (performed by classical orchestra)

There were actually several Armin songs performed by the North Netherlands Classical Orchestra and all are VERY cool, but I think that Zocalo was my favorite. The remix of Use Somebody is also worth a few listens (or more) and I like it better than the Kings of Leon version. I'm sure I've posted the Kaskade song before, but I heard it the other day and hadn't listened to it for quite some time and it reminded me how good it is and how much I LOVE the lyrics. Strange Condition popped up on Pandora the other day and I love her voice (not sure who the vocalist is) and haven't searched for any remixes, but am sure that some good ones will come of it.

Currently listening...

2011-05-02T15:52:00.004-06:00

April is the Serge Devant album Wanderer...not too new (released in June 2009) but one that I've recently discovered and love, save one track. I actually HATE track 3 so I didn't even include it but the rest of it is good.

1 - Sweet Harmony
2 - Take Me With You Feat. Emma Hewitt
4 - 12 Wives In Tehran Feat. Nadia Ali
5 - Part Of Me Feat. Kyven
6 - Addicted Feat. Hadley
7 - Shadow Feat. Second Sun
8 - No Good Feat. Jaren
9 - Midnight Train Feat. Hadley Poole
10 - Surround U Feat. Kyven
11 - Wanderer Feat. Hadley
12 - People Feat. Kyle
13 - Peace Feat. Hadley (Bonus Track)

Take Me With You is my original favorite on this album, but I've also fallen in love with Peace. I love the lyrics and the beat.

Currently listening...

2011-03-23T13:27:00.003-06:00

1. Andy Moor vs. M.i.k.e. - Spirit's Pulse
2. Cerf Mitiska & Jaren - Another World (Shogun remix)
3. Gareth Emery - Sanctuary
4. Johnny Cash - Hurt
5. Andrew Bird - Natural Disasters
6. Sia - Under the Milky Way
7. Erykah Badu - Tyrone (live)
8. Erykah Badu - Honey
9. Erykah Badu - Back in the Day
10. Zero 7 - Somersault

The first three came from Trance Around the World with Above & Beyond podcasts and I especially love the first one. The Gareth Emery is also pretty amazing. Going down, some older songs but ones that I have loved for a long time, or am just discovering (Erykah Badu). Sia is always a good choice, as is Johnny Cash. Already have an idea for April's list :)

Currently listening...

2011-02-22T17:22:00.004-07:00

1. Arnej feat. Josie - Strangers We've Become (vocal mix)
2. Tenishia feat. Kirsty Hawkshaw - Reasons to Forgive (the Blizzard remix)
3. Tenishia feat. Tiff Lacey - Burning From the Inside
4. Nadia Ali - Love Story (Andy Moor remix)
5. Coldplay - God Put a Smile Upon Your Face
6. Erykah Badu - Tyrone
7. Erykah Badu - On & On
8. The Lushlife Project - Essence of Our Origins
9. Kirsty Hawkshaw - Fine Day (James Holden rexmix)
10. James Holden and Julie Thompson - Come to Me

Something from Tenishia was posted on a friend's Facebook and when I looked them up I came across the Tiff Lacey and Kirsty Hawkshaw songs. Love love love what I have found from Kirsty Hawkshaw although remixes tend to be better than her originals. Reasons to Forgive has become one of my favorite tunes in the last month and I listen to it very frequently. The original of this one is actually good, but I do prefer the Blizzard remix.

currently listening

2011-01-03T15:28:00.006-07:00

1. Phoenix - 1901
2. Emiliana Torrini - Me and Armini
3. Emiliana Torrini - Jungle Drum
4. The LK - Stop Being Perfect
5. Kaskade feat. Becky Jean Williams - Start Again
6. Royksopp - Remind Me
7. Winter Kills - Hot As Hades (John O'Callaghan Deep Dream Remix)
8. Serge Devant - Addicted
9. Mike Shiver feat. Aruna - Everywhere You Are (Mike Shivers Catching Sun Mix)
10. Mike Snow - In Search Of

Lots of new, lots of not so new but all good in my opinion. And since this is my music post, mine is the only one that counts! I started building this post at the beginning of January, but didn't finish it until the end so it truly spans the entire month of my music.

The Winter Kills and Serge Devant are my favorite of the bunch although In Search Of caught my attention while I was eating at Sapa and then I heard it again a week later somewhere else and thought "ooh, this is a good song" so it definitely is worth a listen or two.

Royksopp is always a favorite although they're one that I tend to forget about until I'm reminded. Remind Me popped up on my Pandora to do exactly that, remind me about the catchy, eclectic electronic music that Royksopp puts out.

2011

2011-01-01T15:01:00.005-07:00

Here are the things I'm going to try and do in 2011 to improve the quality of my daily life:

- Meditate for 10 minutes in the morning before getting out of bed and for 20 minutes at night before falling asleep.
- Stopping negative thoughts by saying "STOP" either out loud or in my head.
- Put studying first, even when there are fun things to do.
- Keep my A1C below a 7.5%

Currently listening...

2010-12-30T13:31:00.006-07:00

1. Worldwide Groove Corporation - Besame Mucho
2. Little People - Start Shootin'
3. Blockhead - Insomniac Olympics
4. FC Kahuna - Hayling
5. Armin van Buuren feat. Winter Kills - Take a Moment
6. Armin van Buuren feat. Laura V - Drowning
7. Daft Punk - Tron Legacy Soundtrack

So, I missed ALL of the shows I wanted to see this year; it just wasn't in the cards. But that's okay...there's still some great music to listen to.

I may have mentioned Start Shootin' in a previous post, but it would've been a long LONG time ago, so when it came on Pandora, I figured I would put it on this month's list.

More Armin, Drowning and Take a Moment are from Mirage. I still am loving the Imagine and Mirage albums and listen to them quite frequently. Drowning has really grown on me. I love the lyrics and beat especially, but it's a well put together package (as his always are). I also noticed that I included Unforgivable two months in a row (September and October) which means it MUST be an awesome song since I try to never repeat...

This month is a slightly shortened list due to number seven being an entire soundtrack. I knew Daft Punk had composed and produced the score before I went in, and I'm sure it was partially the whole experience of the movie, but I absolutely loved the music! Definitely worth checking out, even if you're not a Daft Punk fan. The music is very orchestral.

ugh

2010-12-19T15:07:00.005-07:00

i barely missed a B in ochem :(

coulda shoulda woulda studied more/better/harder/etc BUT i feel like i did the best i could given the circumstances...now i'll just see about cell bio (which i'm almost certainly going to get a C in) to decide whether or not i will be retaking these courses.

L O V E

2010-12-11T23:16:00.003-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to love someone if they don't love you and sometimes it is easy. And usually it's a combination of both (but more of the hard than the easy). I don't know if there have been people in my life that have loved me without getting my love in return, but I know that I am on the loving end of some relationships and although I continue to love those people, sometimes it is very difficult to know why I do.

But love, even if it's one-sided, can be fulfilling. So maybe that's the reason. I mean, it's a completely different KIND of love when it's one-sided, but if I'm aware of it and don't expect it to change, I do think that the love I feel enriches my life and (hopefully) theirs. So I keep loving and try to love everyone, even the people I don't like and judge for myriad reasons, because they deserve love too...

Currently listening...

2010-11-30T22:14:00.004-07:00

1. Above & Beyond - Come Home (Signum remix)
2. Armin Van Buuren feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Virtual Friend
3. Armin Van Buuren feat. Ana Criado - Down to Love
4. Armin Van Buuren feat. Nadia Ali - Feels So Good
5. Flanders - Behind (Callea remix)
6. Stroker Ace - Lovage
7. Armin Van Buuren feat. Vera Ostrova - What If
8. Sarah Bareilles - Gravity
9. Katy Perry - Firework
10. Katy Perry - Teenage Dream

So there's more pop on my list this month than usual, and not really new songs either, just new to me. I was working on a project with G___ and the woman we were with played Sarah Bareilles and Katy Perry so I started listening to them.

The first three Armin tracks are off of Mirage and Feels So Good took a few listens to really grow on me but it is definitely my favorite track on the album (at least right now).

I would have to say the big find on this list is Flanders. I heard this one on my Pandora and LOVED the beat. When I googled it I found that the original was done with ATB in 2007 and I have to say that the Callea remix is MUCH better than the original.

LOWEST A1C EVER

2010-11-03T11:14:00.002-06:00

I went to my endo today and had the lowest a1c I've ever had, 6.6%. I am SOOOOO excited that despite my crazy, hectic, stressful life, I must be doing something right!

Currently listening...

2010-10-31T20:29:00.005-06:00

1. Kaskade & Digital LAB mashup with Afroman & David Guetta - Louder Than Empty Streets
2. Morgan Page - Fight For You (Beltek remix)
3. Nina Simone - Sinnerman (Felix da Housecat's Heavenly House mix)
4. Armin Van Buuren feat. Jaren - Unforgivable
5. Cicada - The Things You Say (Dirty South remix)
6. BT feat. Jes - Every Other Way (Armin Van Buuren remix)
7. Dash Berlin feat. Emma Hewitt - Waiting
8. Benny Benassi feat. Channing - Come Fly Away (Adam K & Soha remix)
9. Jonas Steur feat. Jennifer Rene - Fall to Pieces (ISOS 6 Ibiza)
10. Serge Devant - Take Me With You

So some of these are older tracks but have either come on my Pandora recently or have been reintroduced to me by a new friend who listens to much of the same kind of music that I do.

The big one this month is the Kaskade Digital LAB Afroman & David Guetta. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this track and cannot get enough of it. There is an amazing drop at 5:08 and the beat is incredible.

Shows in November: BT, Kaskade, DJ Shadow, Pretty Lights
Shows in December: Dash Berlin

I wish I had an unlimited budget for going to see shows but unfortunately, I will have to miss some. I think Shadow and Pretty Lights are on the must see list as is Dash Berlin but I decided that I won't be going to BT and Kaskade is still a maybe...we'll see.

Currently listening...

2010-09-30T21:18:00.004-06:00

1. Sia - Buttons (Markus Schulz Coldharbour remix)
2. Armin Van Buuren - Unforgivable
3. Big Sean feat. Mike Posner - Smoke & Drive
4. Counting Crows - Anna Begins
5. Robbie Rivera - Float Away (Bimbo Jones remix)
6. Kaskade - Be Still Satisfaction (Kaskade Benny Benassi mashup)
7. Kaskade - I'll Never Dream I'm In Love (Kaskade vs. Alex Gaudino)
8. Markus Schulz feat. Justine Suissa - Perception (Original mix)
9. Floyd the Locsmif - Still Luv Huh
10. Floyd the Locsmif - Speechless

The big find this month is the Markus Schulz remix of Sia. It came on my Pandora one day and I recognized her voice immediately but didn't know the mix. I looked it up later that day and listened to it over and over. Love her, love him, LOVE this mix!!

Float Away is one of my favorite songs, and the Brian Cross remix is my favorite BUT the Bimbo Jones remix is very good too, just different. Again, this one popped up on Pandora one day and while I don't like it quite as much, I still think it's worth a listen (or two).

A friend of mine went to Coachella this year and when I told him I was going to see Kaskade in July at the Depot, he told me to listen for Kaskade playing Benny Bennassi because "he plays Benny better than Benny". Truer words were never spoken. This mashup is absolutely INSANE and one of the best tracks I've ever heard live.

Justine Suissa is my favorite vocalist and the Markus Schulz track has a bit of a drawn out intro, but when the vocals come in it is definitely worth it. Her voice is amazing and coupled with the beat makes this track a keeper for sure.

On tonight's menu...

2010-09-24T20:25:00.003-06:00

I made summer squash soup a couple of nights ago but I made it so late that I didn't have it for dinner. I had it for lunch on Thursday, and then for dinner tonight. I added a fresh tomato garnish tonight and the acidity of the fresh tomatoes was just right with the squash. I had some leftover whole wheat crackers and altogether it was a very satisfying meal.

I've been cooking quite a bit lately and I really enjoy it, and I'm actually pretty good too. I never use recipes; I just throw things together that are in the fridge, cupboard, etc. It seems that I have a knack for putting items together that have complementary flavors, or at least I like to think so :)

So, if *you* are ever in the downtown Salt Lake City area, hit me up and I'll cook you dinner. Don't ask about my specialty because I don't have one, you'll just get what's on the menu for that night.

Currently listening...

2010-08-30T19:10:00.002-06:00

This month is an album I've heard a few tracks from but I was able to listen to the whole thing in the last week and just can't get enough of it. It's an older album. Jedi Mind Tricks - Servants in Heaven, Kings in Hell. Here is the track list:

1. Intro
2. Put em in the Grave
3. Suicide
4. Uncommon Valor: A Vietnam Story
5. A Blood Red Path
6. When All Light Dies
7. Serenity in Murder
8. Pariah Demise (Interlude)
9. Heavy Metal Kings
10. Shadow Business
11. Triumph and Agony (Interlude)
12. Razorblade Salvation
13. Outlive the War
14. Gutta Music
15. Temples of Ice (Interlude)
16. Black Winter Day

Some tracks feature guest artists and those ones (especially track 4) definitely add another element to the album. Anyway, loving it right now.

All Science

2010-08-25T12:36:00.004-06:00

I was thinking about retaking Calculus this semester (I got a C+) but when I went to my Cell Biology lecture yesterday and the professor said, "This is a very difficult course. You will need to spend a lot of time reviewing the information presented in this course" I decided that I should concentrate on the three science classes I'm already committed to. That's Organic Chemistry I, O Chem Lab I and Cell Biology. I know it's only the first week so I'm sure in two weeks I'll feel like I'm busier than I want to be, but so far it's not too bad! I work about 7 hours every day instead of 8 and the walking/traxing to campus and my classes has been enjoyable, minus the train ride this morning. I swear it was 100 degrees on the train and I could not stop sweating...worst trax ride of my life! Thank goodness it only lasted 10 minutes.

It feels good to be back in science classes and on campus again! :)

JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes 2010

2010-08-21T21:07:00.009-06:00

September 2, 2010 will be the nine year anniversary of my diagnosis with diabetes. Today I participated in the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes for the first time. A friend of mine has a daughter who is also a Type I diabetic and she was diagnosed nine years ago as well. A mutual friend of ours told me she was doing the walk and I decided that maybe I should give it a shot. I raised $160 in donations from family members and co-workers. I would like to thank all those who gave so generously.

The walk was held at Wheeler Farm and we got there pretty early so that we would have time to get our t-shirts and find the rest of our team. For raising $100, I got this t-shirt:

The girl who's team we were on designed these t-shirts so that our team would match:

The walk was a lot of fun and I'm glad that I did it. After we walked there were treats and games and a rock wall and the kids (and some of the adults) played while we ate the lunch provided by the sponsors. All in all I have to say I'm a little disappointed in myself for not participating sooner and fully plan on doing it whenever I am able to from now on.

motivation

2010-08-18T18:55:00.002-06:00

i just started working out again (yesterday) after taking about three months off. it was pretty hard yesterday but a little easier today so i'm hoping i will continue to find the motivation i had through the spring. this time around i'm thinking i'm going to try and do a little more outside instead of being confined to my apartment using the same workout dvds over and over. i hate running but i'm going to try working up to it. starting with walking, of course :)

my downstairs neighbor

2010-08-07T13:29:00.002-06:00

every time i check email on my phone, several wireless networks pop up, and one in particular has a very strong signal. since i started school this semester, and all of my classes were online, i decided that i should find out whoever this network belonged to, and get in on it so that it would benefit me with having the internet at home and the owner with a reduction in cost. i heard my downstairs neighbor come home one evening so i walked down and knocked on his door. i asked if he was the owner of the wireless network _______ and he said yes so i asked if he wanted to split it. he told me that he would have to find the password and that he was on his way to class at the moment, but would get back to me soon. i waited a few days. then i waited a couple more. after a week had passed, i saw him on the porch and asked once again. he told me that since his roommate had moved out, he had gotten stuck with a huge internet bill (the first one including installation, etc, etc) and so qwest had cut service for now. then he said as soon as he got things figured out, he would let me know. after that day, he disappeared. this was about two months ago. then a couple of weeks ago i was talking to the across-the-hall neighbors, and they said that they thought he must've just deserted the apartment because nobody had seen him in weeks (months, really) but that there had been no for rent sign up yet. i figured they must be right and resigned myself to setting up my own internet (which is now currently being done through my phone). today i started doing laundry and as i came out of the laundry room to head back upstairs, lo and behold, the downstairs neighbor's car is parked outside. it just leaves me scratching my head and going, huh??

Currently listening...

2010-07-31T13:55:00.004-06:00

1. ATB - Summer Rain
2. Roger Sanchez - Lost (Pornocult 6am remix)
3. Chris Lake - Change (Club remix)
4. Morgan Page - Only Human
5. Lal Meri - Bad Things (Morgan Page Dirty remix)
6. Poni Hoax - Carrie Ann
7. Tall Paul - Common Ground
8. Tiesto - Everything
9. Armin Van Buuren - Zocalo
10. Deadmau5 - Not Exactly

Most of these songs came from Pandora this month. Most are artists that I listen to (and love) but these are new songs. The only new artist I found is Poni Hoax. I heard Carrie Ann on my Pandora and had to find it to listen to again.

The other one I can't get out of my head is Everything. This is on Tiesto's Elements of Life album.

Last show of the summer...most likely ;)

2010-07-20T11:55:00.004-06:00

I went out to Saltair on Saturday for the first time since my birthday last year (2009) to see Deadmau5, which is who I saw the last time I was there. This time around, however, was a much better, more memorable experience. We went there and back in style in a HUGE Excursion limo. It was nice to not have to drive (of course, I don't usually drive anyway, but you know what I mean) and a limo is always a good thing ;) The stage was set up outside and it was absolutely INCREDIBLE. The music, the lights, the show and fireworks, everything was amazing and definitely in the top three shows I've ever seen. Wow!!

The two shows I had planned on for this summer were Kaskade and Deadmau5 and now that they're over, I am telling myself that I need to buckle down and finish summer semester strong and get ready for school in the fall (which I've decided may very well kill me). I made the trek out to Saltair for an unbelievable show, and now I'm done for the summer...except for the possibility of a Thursday night Twilight Concert Series. Because of the hordes of people, I'm still not sure about those.

this calculus thing

2010-07-13T23:07:00.003-06:00

is giving me a LOT more trouble than the first semester. apparently, i have forgotten everything i learned. i may have to take this one over in the fall :(
fucking word problems...

kaskade...again!

2010-07-12T15:29:00.007-06:00

This past Friday I saw Kaskade for the sixth time in my life and I have to say that he just keeps getting better and better. Granted, this show was at a MUCH better venue (The Depot) than the last show (at Harryo's) but all things equal, he played a better show this time around. His remix of Benny Benassi's Satisfaction blended with his own Be Still was absolutely astounding. You can download his set (including that track) from the Electric Daisy Carnival here.

Currently listening...

2010-06-30T15:24:00.004-06:00

1. A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
2. A Fine Frenzy - Near to You
3. Smooth Stan - Night Landings
4. Kate Vigo - The Way You Are
5. Kaskade - I Feel Like
6. Kaskade - Dynasty
7. Sunlounger feat. Zara - Lost (Club Mix)
8. Iio - Is It Love
9. DJ Encore - Point Of No Return
10. Kaskade - Stars Align

A Fine Frenzy was introduced to me a few years ago by a friend. He played Almost Lover for me. Then a few weeks ago, Pandora played Near to You and it got me listening to her again.

Night Landings was on Tiesto's Club Life podcast a few weeks ago and it took me a few listens to get the track title so I also listened to it a couple of times and really dug it.

The Way You Are is fun. I really like this one but don't know anything else from Kate Vigo.

Kaskade. I can always listen to Kaskade. I will be seeing him next week (July 9) at the Depot and it should be an amazing show, like usual. Especially because this venue is WAY better than Harryo's.

Currently listening...

2010-05-29T18:12:00.002-06:00

1. Pretty Lights - Finally Moving
2. Pretty Lights - Hot Like Sauce
3. September - Cry For You (Spencer & Hill remix)
4. Rob Dougan - Clubbed to Death (Kurayimo V)
5. Rob Dougan - Furious Angels
6. Morgan Page feat. Jan Burton - Traces Remain
7. Radiohead - High and Dry
8. Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees
9. Radiohead - Stree Spirit (Fade Out)
10. Pearl Jam - Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town

Still loving Pretty Lights; he is so talented and I love all of his different stuff.

Clubbed to Death came on my iTunes one day and I listened to it three times. It's downtempo and has a good beat.

Radiohead is always a good choice; these represent some of my favorites.

School Starts and AZ

2010-05-10T13:19:00.005-06:00

Well, school starts in a week. This summer I am taking 13 hours and am a little bit nervous. I have not had a full-time semester since spring 2004 and I ended up withdrawing from all of those classes so...it's been a while, to say the least. I will still be working close to full-time so it's going to be quite an adjustment but I am really excited about it. I am looking forward to reading and studying and learning and MOVING FORWARD towards my Chemistry degree.

My fall course load is at 12 hours currently and I don't think I will add to it. Science and math classes abound but I have to get through these to move on to the next series. I am so grateful that I work at a place (and have a boss) that is flexible with my school and helps me out when I need it.

S___ and her boyfriend and I went to Arizona to visit my sister and my babies towards the end of April. My nephew is almost five and my niece is almost three so although they're not babies anymore, since I don't get to see them very often, I still think of them as my babies. My niece absolutely LOVED me! She loves me more than Grammie :) I painted her fingernails and toenails for the first time ever and I'm pretty sure that sealed the deal. Every morning we (the aunties and the kiddies and mom) would watch their "shows" and talk. It was a lot of fun to catch up with my sister.

We had a great time hanging out with everyone and stopped in Vegas on the way back. We ate at the Rainforest Cafe and saw the lions at the MGM. We went to the M&M and Coca-Cola factories and saw the fountains at the Bellagio and walked along the Grand Canal. Then we went to the New York New York to get M___ some pizza and played some penny slots. All in all it was a great five hours, even if it did delay our trip (obviously). I got back to SL at 4:30 a.m. and had to work that day but am still glad we stayed as long as we did to see/do everything.

Currently listening...

2010-05-02T15:48:00.001-06:00

This month (April) is the most recent Pretty Lights album that I downloaded (Disc 1):

Filling Up the City Skies

1. Change Is Gonna Come
2. The Time Has Come
3. My Other Love
4. Cold Feeling
5. Solamente
6. Fill Your Eyes
7. Something's Wrong
8. Evening Sun
9. Double Love
10. Pop Quiz
11. At Last I Am Free
12. Make You Feel
13. Summer's Gone
14. Maybe Tomorrow

I am loving him more and more. This one is a little mellower than Passing By Behind Your Eyes, but equally wonderful.

Currently listening...

2010-04-03T12:33:00.001-06:00

1. Tiesto and Sneaky Sound System - I Will Be Here (Wolfgang Gartner remix)
2. Kaskade - Move For Me (Dave Darrell remix)
3. Tiesto - Bright Morningstar
4. Nelly Furtado - All Good Things Come to an End (Kaskade remix)
5. Kings of Tomorrow - Finally (acoustic)
6. Sia - I Go to Sleep
7. Bonobo - Black Sands
8. Bonobo - All in Forms
9. Bonobo feat. Andreya Triana - Eyesdown
10. Bonobo feat. Andreya Triana - Stay the Same

I Will Be Here is my favorite song right now. I heard this one driving to Vegas (a friend had put music on my phone) and just wanted to hear it over and over. The collaboration is a good starting point, but the remix makes it much better. I even got over the way she says "here" and almost like it now.

Songs 2-5 were also on the Vegas playlist and while all familiar, the new sounds are well worth listening to.

A friend sent me the latest Bonobo album - Black Sands and the last few songs listed are all from that album. The ones listed are my favorite from it; Black Sands is probably my favorite on the album. I'm used to Bonobo without vocals but really enjoyed the vocalist in these ones.

Update #4

2010-03-16T10:42:00.002-06:00

Here is my annual update:

-still working for the Utah State Bar
-have my own apartment about half a block from where I work and it is AWESOME...I love living by myself!
-G___ took me to Vegas for my annual 24th birthday bash (26th birthday). I had never been before and we had the most amazing time. Definitely my best birthday yet!
-my diabetes is under control (yay)
-I am finding more and more great music to listen to all the time
-I am back in school again at the U
-still doing the long distance thing with K___ in Kansas. I went to visit him just after Christmas and got to go to a Jayhawk basketball game and had SOOOO much fun!
-Z___ is almost as tall as I am and when she passes me, I will be the shortest member of my family...and she's only 12!!

I think that's about it!

Currently listening...

2010-02-09T15:32:00.006-07:00

1. Samantha Jones - Rise
2. Oceanlab - Come Home (Michael Cassette remix)
3. Solarstone feat. Jes - Like a Waterfall
4. Kaskade - In This Life (Cabin Crew remix)
5. Karen Overton - Your Loving Arms (Damien Heck remix)
6. Armin Van Buuren feat. Jaren - Unforgivable
7. Armin Van Buuren feat. Jacqueline Govaert - Never Say Never
8. The Dining Rooms - Fluxus
9. Oceanlab - Breaking Ties (Martin Roth remix)
10. Oceanlab - I Am What I Am

Just a list this time...perhaps I'll find time to write more about the songs later but I just don't have it in me today.

what happened to winter?

2010-02-05T15:18:00.003-07:00

This is the mildest winter in my recent (and pretty much total) memory. We haven't had many storms, and when we do, we usually get rain instead of snow...at least down in the valley. But even still, there hasn't been as much snow as there usually is in the mountains and the temperatures are above average. Why can't we get in on the storms that dumped on the rest of the country back in December and the one that's supposed to hit the East coast tonight? That's our snow!!

I want it to snow and snow and snow all through January and February and then let spring in around my birthday. I don't care how cold it gets, as long as there is snow to go with it. I JUST WANT SOME SNOW!

Currently listening...

2010-01-28T19:37:00.008-07:00

1. George Acosta feat. Fisher - True Love
2. Freemasons feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Heartbreak (Make Me a Dancer)
3. Emiliana Torrini - Jungle Drum
4. Armin Van Buuren feat. Audrey Gallagher - Hold On To Me
5. ATB - Made Of Glass
6. Filterfunk - S.O.S. (Message in a Bottle) [Hi_Tack remix]
7. Late Night Alumni - Another Chance(Kaskade's Homage to Roger Remix)
8. Roger Sanchez - Another Chance
9. Roger Sanchez feat. Lisa Pure - Lost
10. Kaskade - Sorry (Dirty South remix)

My friend posted True Love on my Facebook page tonight and said I would love it. And she was right, I do love it! There's a lot of different elements to this song and it has a lot of depth. Also, her voice is beautiful (duh).

My BEST friend posted Heartbreak on my Facebook page last week because she knows I love Sophie Ellis-Bextor, and she loves the Freemasons. Put them together and WOW. It is one of my favorite Freemason songs (probably second to Here Comes the Rain Again).

The lyrics are what caught my attention in Hold On To Me. They're just so positive and seem to create a better outlook for me.

Yet another friend sent me Jungle Drum and said that it made him think of me when he heard it. It's a quirky song but it definitely gets stuck in my head. I listened to some of her other stuff and it's not bad, but too slow for what I was in the mood for that day.

Both versions of Another Chance are great. I really love the original but found the Kaskade remix to be a nice change.

the best chai tea

2010-01-19T12:09:00.002-07:00

The Park Cafe has the BEST chai tea I have ever had. It is super delicious and I'm pretty sure they make it with cream, but I don't know if I really want to know that so I haven't asked. Start out with a full, steaming mug of chai and then when it gets towards the bottom, I get a refill of coffee and the chai gives it just enough sweetness. Mmmmmmm!

It's the Future!

2010-01-02T12:33:00.001-07:00

We made it to the future. 2010 is here and soon we'll all be wearing silver jump suits and have flying cars. G___ has been saying it for years and now it's finally here!

Currently listening...

2009-12-22T12:05:00.006-07:00

1. Deepest Blue - Deepest Blue
2. Above & Beyond - Air For Life (Airwave mix)
3. Plumb - In My Arms (Bimbo Jones remix)
4. Jonas Steur feat. Jennifer Rene - Fall to Pieces
5. Tiesto - Bright Morning Star
6. Markus Schulz - Perfect (Funabashi remix)
7. DJ Metzker Viktoria - Playgirl (Steve Monasse and Taylor Da Hun remix)
8. Chicane and Natasha Bedingfield - Bruised Water
9. Eric Prydz - Frankfurt
10. Kaskade - Be Still (Morgan Page remix)

Most of these songs I found on Pandora but a few of them were also introduced to me by friends. The Plumb song is one of those. My friend J___ played it for me a couple of months ago but lately I've been listening to it a LOT. It gets stuck in my head all the time. The lyrics are great, and her voice is phenomenal.

Perfect is my current favorite song. This remix is one that come on my Deadmau5 Station on Pandora one day and I love love love it. The original isn't bad, but this remix is better.

Playgirl and Bruised Water were given to me by G___. We started listening to Bruised Water in October and Playgirl just a couple of weeks ago. Both are worth checking out. There are several other mixes of Playgirl that are good but after listening to several, this is the one I like the best.

The Kaskade on this list has been around for a long time but I never cared much for the original. I like the lyrics but it's a little too poppy for me. One day I was looking up the lyrics to Be Still and the Morgan Page remix came up as one of the top results. I listened to it and like it WAAAAY better than the original.

Currently listening...

2009-12-04T14:05:00.002-07:00

Late again...oops! Here is November's list:

1. Zero 7 - Home
2. Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line
3. Zero 7 - Distractions
4. Sia - Lentil (Live)
5. M'Black - Heartbreak
6. Bird York - Wicked Little High
7. Bird York - In The Deep
8. Orbital - Beached
9. Orbital - Halcyon
10. Ferry Corsten - Fire

I'm going to Zero 7 next week so I've been listening to a lot of my favorite tracks. Simple Things is a fantastic album and all three of the songs listed are on it. I'm so excited for this show!!

Heartbreak is a song from a friend and I really like the vocals on this one. It's a catchy tune and I like it a lot.

Both of the Orbital tracks were given to me by a guy at work, along with several others, but these are the two I like the best (so far). He gave me a TON of music, including the Ferry as well and as soon as I sift through it all, I will most likely post more on next month's list.

The chore that I despise the most

2009-11-05T16:44:00.003-07:00

I love doing the dishes. I get immense satisfaction from scrubbing my bathroom. I enjoy vacuuming the floors and even like dusting the few things that gather dust in my house. But I absolutely DESPISE doing my laundry. The actual washing of the clothes. Not folding and putting away said clothes, just washing them. It's an easy one, just sort the clothes and put them in the washer but whenever that time comes, I dread it and put it off. When I grow up and have a housekeeper, the only requirement will be laundry (although I'm sure I'll give up those other chores without much of a fight).

Currently listening...

2009-11-03T17:34:00.004-07:00

This is October's posting since I was in Kansas over the weekend. Once again, it is an entire album. The artist is Pretty Lights and the album is titled "Passing By Behind Your Eyes" and here is the track listing:

1. World Of Illusion
2. Sunday School
3. Short Cut/detour
4. If I Could Feel Again
5. Someday Is Everyday
6. Fly Away Another Day
7. Can't Stop Me Now
8. Let Em Know It's Time To Go
9. Lonesome Street
10. City Of One
11. Dark As The Sky
12. Keep Em Bouncin
13. Ask Your Friends

My favorite is City of One. It has a loop of Billie Holliday that I absolutely love. World of Illusion is probably second but the album is really, truly incredible. The beats are bumpin and the piano compliments it nicely. Very worthwhile album to check out. Of all the album posts that I've done, this one comes with the highest recommendation.

swine flu shot and cleansing

2009-10-25T11:02:00.005-06:00

Originally, I set my alarm for 5:45 a.m. yesterday to go over to the Salt Lake Valley Health Department for my H1N1 vaccine but when I was woken in the middle of the night by G___ and K___ texting me, I reset it for 6:25. Turns out I should have gotten up even earlier than I was planning. When I woke up, I looked out the window (since I live right by the SLVHD) and could already see cars lining 200 East and the surrounding streets. I got out the door as quickly as possible and got in line around 6:40. I walked quickly down to the corner and when I got there, I was a little warm and glad that I hadn't brought a scarf or hat. Then I waited for four hours outside. 90 minutes into the wait, I was pretty cold. Two hours later, I finally made it up to the building and was in the sun. It felt WONDERFUL. After that, only 30 more minutes and I was inside!! As long as the wait was, I was so glad I had my iPod with me, the reason being two-fold:

- I had music to keep me entertained and dance to
- If I had had to listen to all those kids for four hours, I probably would have killed myself

I'm glad I was able to get the vaccine although there's no way in hell I would have waited that long if I wasn't diabetic. Speaking of, I'm going to my endocrinologist tomorrow and hopefully my A1C will still be in the 7% range. I think it will be; it may even be lower than last time. The cleanse helps me use less insulin and keep my blood sugar under control.

This is the fourth time I have done the Master Cleanse (well, sort of...the third time I did M'Lis which only has three days of the lemonade) and it gets easier each time. Today is Day 4 and I am cruising! I do not feel hungry or tired and I was only a little foggy on Days 1 and 2. Truthfully, I feel great and am looking forward to finishing on Friday to see how much better I feel then. Of course, I'm flying to Kansas Saturday morning so I'll feel great no matter what!

a little of this, a little of that

2009-10-20T19:16:00.001-06:00

Life is good. :) Things are going well for me. I have a great job, a cute little place of my own, I got to see my babies this past weekend, I get to see Kaskade on October 30 and then fly to Kansas on Halloween to spend a few days with K___. As far as that goes, things are progressing and he makes me so happy!

While I love my job, it has been CRAZY the past couple of weeks and this week seems to be shaping up in quite the same fashion. I have been accustomed to one or MAYBE two voicemails (if any) when I come in in the morning but lately I've had five or six and today when I got back from the admissions ceremony, I had 10!! Last week our office was closed Monday for Columbus Day and by the end of the day on Tuesday, I had received 35 voicemails and 75 emails. Busy busy busy.

My sister and her family were up from Phoenix last week(end) so I went to my mom's for dinner on Sunday and it was great to see my niece and nephew. They really are adorable and it's fun having little kids around again (as long as they're related to me). It doesn't ever really make me want any of my own, but it's fun to play with them, etc. and then not have any real responsibility for them. (Thanks P___!)

K___ and I were on the phone Saturday night for 2+ hours and decided that I should spend Halloween in Lawrence. I can't wait for this trip (much like all the others) and I'm sure I will not want it to end when the time comes.

Currently listening...

2009-10-02T09:46:00.003-06:00

Here is September's list (sorry it's late):

1. Tegan & Sara - In My Bones (Tiesto remix)
2. Tegan & Sara - Back In Your Head (Tiesto remix)
3. Armin Van Buuren feat. Jennifer Rene - Fine Without You
4. Armin Van Buuren feat. Cathy Burton - Rain
5. Attic feat. Julie Thompson - Last Goodbye
6. Fragma - Toca's Miracle (In Petto remix)
7. David Guetta - Baby When the Light (Fred Riester & David Guetta remix)
8. Tiesto - Carpe Noctum
9. DJ Antoine - This Time (Klaas remix)
10. Rhianna - Umbrella (Jody Den Bruder Lush Club remix)

A friend sent me the link to In My Bones which reminded me of Back In Your Head so I wanted to share both of those. Tiesto is a master DJ and mixer. These two are catchy and fun and upbeat.

Armin's album Imagine produced both of the tracks listed above and I really can't get enough of Fine Without You. From Jennifer Rene's voice to the musicality of the song as well as the lyrics, it is a beautiful piece of music. Rain, for whatever reason, touches my heart and almost makes me want to cry.

Last Goodbye has great lyrics but I'm not crazy about the music. I'm still looking for remixes so I might find a better one than the original.

The last four tracks are on a compilation album: Ultra Dance 09 (Disc 1) and so much fun to listen to. The David Guetta remix gets me grooving and singing, even at work. And then when it leads into This Time...ooh, it's so dirty I just love it!! Anyway, I recommend checking them out, and maybe even the whole cd if you can.

All By Myself, Don't Wanna Be...

2009-09-14T14:22:00.002-06:00

Wait a minute...I DO want to be all by myself. I moved into an apartment by myself a month ago and I have LOVED every minute of living alone. I miss G___ and the girls, but really do enjoy having my own place. I have realized that I can be a much neater/cleaner person than I have been in the past. I have made my bed EVERY single day that I have slept in it and I've been keeping the rest of my house neat and tidy. Of course, it helps that I don't have much furniture (or space), but even still, I vacuum and dust and have scrubbed the walls and floors and doors.

I have never really needed a lot of alone time but I've always enjoyed being home alone. Now that I'm home alone pretty much all the time, I've come to appreciate and value my alone time. I like being able to be selfish. The idea that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want is something that I've never REALLY considered before because I love spending time with my friends. But I've found in the last month that there have been times when I would rather stay home by myself than go out.

This girl is growing up (finally) and (maybe) becoming an adult!

Check out Bluehouse Skis

2009-09-11T12:57:00.004-06:00

A guy I grew up with makes pretty awesome skis...check them out:

www.bluehouseskis.com

Currently listening...

2009-08-31T15:10:00.003-06:00

1. Origine - Sanctuary (Harry Lemon remix)
2. Delerium - Innocente (Tiesto remix)
3. Fleetwood Mac - Dreams (Deep Dish remix)
4. Tiesto - Driving to Heaven (Matt Zo remix)
5. DB Boulevard - Point of View
6. Tiesto pres. Allure feat. Julie Thompson - Somewhere Inside
7. Gabriel & Dresden - New Path (Faarsheed remix)
8. Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster Stronger
9. Daft Punk - Face to Face
10. Daft Punk - One More Time

Sanctuary is DEEP HOUSE and I love love LOVE the Harry Lemon remix. I found it on a set by DJ River called The Resolver and it's one of those that I love to listen and groove to.

All of the Tiesto on this list = incredible. Especially the live video of Somewhere Inside. Julie Thompson is so cute and spunky and I want to hang out with her! Tiesto will always be one of my favorites; he is such an amazing DJ.

Point of View is a song that my friends and I love singing to each other. That's all.

New Path is on a set by Faarsheed called Zeitgeist and I cannot find the mix, or one like it. I don't like the original as much, so I would recommend searching to find the Faarsheed Zeitgeist 2-disc set. There are two builds in this song that go higher and higher and you think you're going to explode and then it drops so deep and gives me the chills.

I had a bit of a Daft Punk kick this past month and the reason is that I have a friend who has a live Daft Punk album that we listen to fairly frequently. Daft Punk is incredibly talented and pioneers in electronic music. The reason I like the live album so much is because they mix their songs together so you'll get a teaser of Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, and then they'll go on with what they were playing already. And then do it again. Anyway, the three songs listed are my favorites.

Currently listening...

2009-07-28T20:25:00.005-06:00

This month's posting is an entire album (as I do from time to time). It is the first CD in a two-disc set compiled by Armin Van Buuren titled: A State of Trance 2009. The first disc is On the Beach. Here is the tracklist:

1. John O’Callaghan feat. Lo-Fi Sugar - Never Fade Away (Andy Duguid Mix - On the Beach Intro Edit)
2. Sunlounger feat. Kyler England - Change Your Mind (Myon and Shane 54 Remix)
3. M6 - Paradise Lost
4. Ron Hagen & Pascal M - Riddles In The Sand
5. Mat Zo - The Fractal Universe
6. The Blizzard with Gåte - Iselilja (Sunn Jellie & The Blizzard Dub Remix)
7. Monogato - Miami Vibe (Omnia Remix)
8. Josh Gabriel presents Winter Kills - Deep Down
9. Myon and Shane 54 feat. Aruna - Helpless (Monster Mix)
10. tyDi feat. Audrey Gallagher - You Walk Away
11. Andy Moor & Ashley Wallbridge feat. Meighan Nealon - Faces
12. Rex Mundi feat. Susana - Nothing At All
13. Jerome Isma-Ae - Shaguar
14. Dash Berlin with Cerf, Mitiska & Jaren - Man On The Run (Nic Chagall Remix)

My favorites are 1-2, 7-10, 12-14...so basically the whole album. My favorite lyrically is You Walk Away but the best drop is in Helpless. It gets down and dirty and it's so unexpected that you'll probably have to listen to it a couple of times right off the bat. Man On the Run is all-over incredible; a MUST listen for everyone. Deep Down is a fun one and the first one that caught my attention. I love the guitar on Miami Vibe (which I'm listening to right now). It's a bit more trancey than I usually like but the guitar tempers it to the point of love for me.

If you like Armin or trance or electronic music in general, you won't be disappointed in this album. In fact, I would even go as far to say that you will be blown away by it like I have been. This album is worth listening three, four, better make it 20 times. Thanks G___!!

Sun Valley, Cristina's and Paper Writing...Oh my!

2009-07-19T23:12:00.006-06:00

Sun Valley was a very different experience this time around. I have an endless supply of fond memories of Sun Valley summers that involved bike riding, swimming, paddle-boating, and Scrabble - not to mention friends. Since Sun Valley is so contained, we were essentially turned loose with no supervision for 4-5 days every summer. I went back for the first time in almost 10 years this week and, needless to say, it was quite a different experience.

The reason for that was twofold: I am no longer a child and childhood memories are often idealistic AND I was working. I still had a good time because it was Sun Valley, but I didn't get much of a vacation. EARLY early mornings on Thursday and Friday followed by a (singular) early morning on Saturday made me more tired than I usually am. The food, however, was amazing and definitely the highlight of my trip. N___'s birthday was yesterday and since she was with me, we went out to a birthday breakfast this morning before we left. We went to Cristina's (which was a place I had never been before) and everything was AMAZING! I had a crab salad on an english muffin topped with melted gruyere and tomato wedges. It was one of the best breakfasts I have ever had. N___ had huckleberry buttermilk pancakes and she said that while they weren't the best pancakes she's ever had, they were delicious. Oh, and the patio was fantastic as well. I could have spent all day on that patio.

We left Ketchum about 10:30 a.m. and headed back to Salt Lake. I actually like driving so it was fine with me. I had my new CD (thanks G___!) and it played about 3 times each way. It was good driving music! We got back to Salt Lake just after 3:00 p.m. and when I got home, the house was 87 degrees. It's still pretty hot in here but it's getting more manageable. I had (have) a paper to write that I meant to take to Sun Valley with me but it completely slipped my mind on Wednesday morning so I started trying to write it when I got home. It's the first paper I've written in 5-6 years and it's much more difficult than I anticipated. I ACTUALLY started writing it about six and worked for a good two hours before getting distracted. All in all, I've written about half and keep finding ways to procrastinate. This is the last distraction and then I'm going to finish it so I can go to bed!

I'm so glad that it's a short work week; the 24th is one of the only times I can (in good conscience) say: Thank god I live in Utah!! However, I have a conference on Saturday which means I don't get to go to the lake with the Crew. :( I am severely disappointed about that and trying to work out a plan so that M___ and I can still go on Saturday night.

It has been a whirlwind of a week and I can't believe tomorrow is Monday but bring it on, baby cause I am ready for the next four days!

Currently listening...

2009-06-30T07:56:00.003-06:00

1. Adam K & Soha - Long Distance
2. Armin Van Buuren feat. Raccoon - Love You More (Daniel Kandi remix)
3. Judge Roy Bean - 95 Pieces
4. Judge Roy Bean - Hard Way
5. Judge Roy Bean - Crawling
6. ATB - Justify
7. ATB - 9 PM (Till I Come)
8. Moby - Disco Lies (Freemasons remix)
9. Andain - Beautiful Things (Gabriel and Dresden remix)
10. Madonna and Paul Oakenfold - Give It To Me

Long Distance reminds me of driving last summer with K___. We spent tons of time together and got to be close friends and this was one of the songs that he introduced me to.

I posted Love You More on my November 2008 "Currently listening..." but the Daniel Kandi remix is definitely worth checking out. The piano is particularly beautiful and striking.

Judge Roy Bean was included in last month's post but didn't have many songs. These three are my favorite. I especially love the style of 95 Pieces, the interlude at 4:00 on Hard Way, and the lyrics of Crawling. I'm definitely digging JRB.

ATB is always a favorite but I've recently discovered Justify and have been listening to it on repeat. Jennifer Karr is the vocalist.

Give It To Me is AMAZING! It gets dirty and good right away and takes you on a journey worth going on. This one is awesome to listen to with headphones. I got totally lost in it this way and love love LOVED it! Ooh...it gives me chills!

Currently listening...

2009-06-06T10:28:00.003-06:00

1. Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune
2. Hello Goodbye - Here In Your Arms
3. Arcade Fire - Intervention
4. Moby - Lies (Freemason remix)
5. Peter Bjorn and John - Blue Period Picasso
6. The Postal Service - This Place is a Prison
7. Foo Fighters - Walking After You
8. Judge Roy Bean - Penguins
9. Judge Roy Bean - I Don't Mind
10. A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras

I don't really have anything to say today. This is May's list (since I totally spaced it last week). Judge Roy Bean is a new discovery and I'm enjoying them quite a lot. You can listen here: http://www.jrbshovelhead.com/

My friend J___ in Germany

2009-05-02T11:33:00.003-06:00

A few years ago I was at a bar and ran into a friend who had a girl, J___, with him that I absolutely KNEW I knew from somewhere. So I asked if she went to the U and thought perhaps we had a class together. Her response was a disdainful, "I am at least ten years older than you." Well, having the same group of friends, she and I saw each other pretty regularly and then one night, another friend of mine used her last name. I remembered that name! The next time I saw her, I asked if she played soccer and if she had ever coached a Nike Soccer Camp up in Park City? It turned out that J___ was my soccer coach when I was 13 years old up in Park City. So, we figured out that she's eight years older than me, not ten.

Now J___ lives in Germany. We talk for an hour or so almost every day. Yesterday, Jenn called a few times and we probably spent 2-3 hours on the phone. She kept putting me on speakerphone so that her roommate could hear all of my stories. Apparently, I have a lot of funny stories because her roommate made the comment that she understands now why J___ and I spend so much time talking and laughing on the phone. Of course, her roommate is from Minnesota so during one of the calls, J___ put her on the phone so that I could hear the Minnesota accent. It was pretty funny. At least as funny as the fact that I could hear J___ laughing HYSTERICALLY in the background while her roommate was doing the "voice" for me.

Currently listening...

2009-04-28T18:05:00.002-06:00

1. Above & Beyond - Can't Sleep
2. Above & Beyond - Sky Falls Down (Armin Van Buuren remix)
3. Above & Beyond - Good For Me
4. Above & Beyond - Alone Tonight
5. DJ Spiller feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Groovejet
6. Freemasons - Vacancies
7. Armin Van Buuren - In and Out of Love
8. Oceanlab - Satellite
9. Amber - Sexual
10. Tiesto - Honey (Chicane Club remix)

I saw Above & Beyond a couple of weeks ago. Amazing. I am so so glad we went. I had a great time with good people, new friends, and awesome music. Of course, leading up to the show, I started listening to tracks I knew I already liked by them, and finding new ones. Can't Sleep was an instant favorite. Sky Falls Down and Good For Me took a few listens before they grew on me but I can't get enough of both of these tracks now. Justine Suissa has such a pure, ethereal voice. I wish she had been here with Above & Beyond, but it was a great show even without her.

Alright...I'm feeling quite lazy and don't think I will write about the other songs. Just know that they are good (well, if you share my musical taste)!

Currently listening...

2009-03-27T22:14:00.003-06:00

1. Deadmau5 - Arguru
2. Cerf, Mitiska & Jaren - You Never Said (Dash Berlin remix)
3. Deadmau5 - Not Exactly
4. Deadmau5 - Brazil
5. The Script - BreakEven
6. Gianluca Motta feat. Molly - All Alone (Deadmau5 remix)
7. Fall Out Boy - Thnks fr th Mmrs
8. Chris Lake feat. Nastala - If You Knew
9. Tim Davison feat. Stacey Kitson - Deliver Me (Hush remix)
10. Newton Faulkner covering Massive Attack - Teardrop

Clearly I've been on a Deadmau5 kick since I went to see him for my birthday. The first time I found Arguru on YouTube, I knew Christian had put it on one of his sets. Well, I found out this week that it's on TWO of his sets; "Deliver Me" and "Global" (which also has You Never Said). I'm really into Deadmau5's sound right now and have been leaning towards a little harder trance tracks.

Some of my favorite lyrics I have ever heard come from You Never Said. "I'm right back where I started out, not a lot to show just memories." That's how I have felt for the last couple of years. I don't really have anything to show for what I've been doing with my life, but I would not trade the people I've met, and the experiences I've had for anything in the world. Not even my medical degree (beside the point that I don't actually have it yet).

The Chris Lake track is on Skip's Picks Vol. 2 and is my ABSOLUTE favorite on that disc. It is nice and dirty and has awesome piano and gets me groovin every time I hear it!

Deliver Me is the last track on Christian's "Deliver Me" set. When I looked it up on YouTube, the Hush remix was just the first one that came up and it happened to be the right mix. I listened to the original, but it wasn't the one that I knew from Christian's set. This one, again, is a bit harder but I'm really into it. I could listen to this one over and over.

The Massive Attack cover is by an artist that a girl at work pointed me towards. I can't remember the song she sent me to, but I saw that he had a cover of Teardrop, so I listened and ended up really liking it. When I have some more time, I think I'll check out more of Newton Faulkner's stuff. He could be worth finding out about.

Finally, The Script. BreakEven is a song that N___ gave me saying that she couldn't stop listening to it over and over and over and over. I listened, and liked the lyrics a lot. Then the tune got me. I'm with her 100% on BreakEven; I LOVE IT! Well worth listening to, at least a couple of times.

Update #3

2009-03-27T21:59:00.002-06:00

A lot has happened in the last few months so I thought I would do another "Update" post.

I am still living with G___ and her two girls.

I have an AMAZING job with the Utah State Bar that I love and has incredible benefits (which are worth at least as much as my salary).

I'm back on my insulin pump. My A1C in January was 8.1% and I go again next week (April 1st) and am incredibly anxious to see how I've been doing.

I have a boy in Kansas and things are good. Even though I'm not entirely sure our "status" I feel like things are progressing. He is good for me and I love him.

I just recently figured out what to do with my life. And that entails finishing my Bachelor's degree in Chemistry and then going to medical school. K___ (in Kansas) is someone that has been inspirational in recognizing his dreams and then taking the necessary steps to actualize them. Since making this decision, I have reapplied (and been reaccepted) to the U and am SO excited to finally get my life started...hopefully by the time I'm 35 :)

I turned 25 on March 15th and had the best birthday ever! We partied at S___'s house and I wore my party dress and saw Deadmau5 and had breakfast at Porcupine and hit a bucket of balls and had Sunday Funday and kicked off summer, according to Sh___. It was wicked fun!!

Just like the last "Update," I have never been as happy as I am now. It just keeps getting better!

Quarter Century Mark

2009-03-11T13:08:00.003-06:00

Whew, I made it! I will be 25 on Sunday and I am so excited for my birthday. We are going to see Deadmau5 (yay!) on Friday out at Saltair (boo) to start the celebration. G___ did such a good job planning my party last year that she said she would take care of everything and I should just sit back and relax. Which I fully intend on doing. I will post an update of the weekend's debauchery, I mean...festivities sometime next week.

I love my birthday. Even if there isn't a whole lot going on on Sunday (my actual birthday) I still just love it!

Every year I give a birthday present to myself, and this year it is a plane ticket to Kansas. I was talking to K___ on Monday about it and decided that it would be the best birthday present ever. The flight I'll be on lands in KC at 10:45pm on the 19th so when we were texting on Monday, I asked if he was okay picking me up that late and his response was:

Yes, any time is fine with me if it's you.

My heart melted a litle bit more for him when I got that one. I'm going to have a hard time waiting several more months after this trip before seeing him again.

Currently listening...

2009-02-28T13:15:00.004-07:00

1. Gabriel and Dresden - Enemy
2. Oceanlab - Miracle (Martin Roth vocal remix)
3. Eurhythmics - Here Comes the Rain Again (Freemasons remix)
4. Chris Lake - Only One
5. Oceanlab - On a Good Day
6. Treitl Hammond feat. Dominique - Little More (Manendra remix)
7. Goldfrapp - Black Cherry
8. Nightmares On Wax - 70s 80s (RJD2 remix)
9. Robbie Rivera - Float Away (Dubfire remix)
10. Chris's Last Words

Eight of the ten songs listed remind me of Christian. Unfortunately, the last song listed is one that I may never know the actual title or artist because it's part of one of Christian's sets. S___ titled it "Chris's Last Words" so I'm going with that but won't be able to truly share it.

"Enemy" is on the same set and it is my new favorite song. My favorite line is "incremental changes and incidental highs". But really, all of the lyrics in this one are very meaningful, at least to me.

I remember the first time he played "Here Comes the Rain Again" for me and G___. We were at a house party down in Provo in September and S___ came and brought us to the dance floor to hear it.

The two Oceanlab songs and "Little More" are on Skip's Picks: Vol. 2. "Little More" is nice and dirty and fun to dance to. Oceanlab helped me and my family get through the days just following Christian's death.

I remember Christian talking about "Only One" and "Float Away" with G___. And that's how most of my music is. It reminds me of him because I can hear what he said about it. Or I remember the look on his face the first time he played a song. Or how excited he was about doing a remix. Thank you, Christian.

Following suit...

2009-02-28T12:55:00.004-07:00

I was reading the blog of a friend today and he said:

I am deciding to make this blog, more blog like, with humor filled stories from my day to day. It’s more for my prosperity than anything else.

Now, I know he meant "posterity" instead of "prosperity" but it made me laugh so I decided to quote it directly. Anyway, the point is that after reading that, I decided to try and follow this paradigm. I'm not sure how many funny stories I have in my day to day, but I laugh a lot so that must mean I have some.

Of course, nothing funny has happened today since I have a MASSIVE hangover. But I'll get back to being funny soon enough and start posting the funnies for everyone's (or at least C__'s since I know she reads this) enjoyment.

Deliver Me

2009-02-24T13:44:00.017-07:00

Every time I looked through the CDs in the car, I would see "Deliver Me" and think it was another album called "Deliverance" and when I realized it wasn't, I never put it in. Deliver Me is a set compiled by my friend Christian Seamons, aka DJ Pilot. He was 32, and died early on February 16, 2009. Since then, I have listened to Deliver Me, and many other of his sets several times.

I had not been to a viewing since my dad, 18 years ago. Initially, the body in the casket did not look like Christian, but the more I looked, the more I could see him in there. At the funeral the next day, G___ and I could not handle ourselves appropriately and so we left. We took several of Christian's CDs and drove around celebrating him in the way that we found most fitting. We were laughing and dancing and having fun. Saturday was probably the hardest day of my entire life, but it was also a really good day. G___ and I joked all day that even though we didn't have anything except the funeral planned, we had so much to do that we were glad we could squeeze the funeral into our schedule. Nothing we did was inappropriate, although perhaps some people might have viewed it that way.

All week leading up to the funeral, his death had hit me really hard, but at the same time was still so surreal that I felt like perhaps I might still wake up and he would be here. And though I know that he's not, I still can't quite believe that Christian will never play another song for me. Crosses (the Tiesto remix) was the song that I would always request for him to play. And every time he played it, I was right there, front and center, dancing and singing for him. S___ made the comment on Saturday that while Christian played requests, there was something special about the relationship that G___ and I had with him that was different when he played our requests. It was like he was always waiting for us to arrive, and was so excited when we would finally show up. We used to tell people that "we bring the dj and the dancers and the party enhancers!" meaning S___ and Christian.

I am one of very few people who called him Christian. To most people, he was Chris. Even this, in my mind, made the relationship that I had with him a bit more special. He was a big brother that I never had. And I love him and miss him so so much.

This is the first time I have dealt with death as an adult, and the feelings and emotions are COMPLETELY different than with my dad. The memories that I have with my dad are special, because he was my dad. But the memories I have about Christian will always make me happy. There is so much music that he introduced me to and every time I hear one of those songs, I will think of him. Music invokes such vivid memories anyway and now that Christian is gone, they are more valuable to me.

Someone made a comment to me last night that I am too young to have friends die. Which I fully agree with, but doesn't change the fact that it happens. My dad was 33; Christian was 32. Perhaps it will always feel like I am too young for my friends and family to die.

Lawrence, KS: Part Deux

2009-02-16T17:39:00.006-07:00

I have had a great time here in Lawrence. It has definitely been a learning experience. K___ has opened up to me more than ever, and I have really appreciated that. I don't know what it all means, or where to go from here, but I feel like we are progressing in some sort of positive direction. On Friday night, all we did was talk. And he did almost all of the talking.

There isn't much in Lawrence besides the University of Kansas, but in my opinion, we don't need much besides each other right now. Just hanging out has been very enjoyable. We drove around the campus yesterday and that was fun. It also got me excited to get back into school myself. It's nice to talk to him about school because he's so supportive, and has been quite inspiring for me; watching him pursue his dream.

I can't complain about where things are right now. I don't expect them to change any time soon, but am hopeful for the future.

what does that MEAN?

2009-02-07T13:51:00.003-07:00

I'm not exactly sure when I became that girl, but I find myself doing things because of the boy that I'm interested in. I like sports, but I have been following his team lately so that I can talk to him about it. Weird! Well, maybe not...I mean, it's natural to find and share common interests, right?

One of the things that draws me to him is his intelligence. But his specific interests, while many are the same as mine, don't always automatically appeal to me so I try and educate myself on topics that grab his attention. I'm not pretending to like them just because he does, but I feel like it's beneficial to expand my horizons because of him. So getting to the title of this post, what does all of this MEAN? Am I sabotaging a potential relationship by doing things that I might not normally do? I don't think I'm pretending to be someone I'm not but I also feel like I'm not in a position to judge that.

I guess it is what it is.

Back to Kansas

2009-02-05T13:45:00.002-07:00

I'm going back to Kansas next Friday, the 13th. I can't even express how excited i am for this! K___ booked my ticket last night and made my day, night, week, weekend, etc. I leave at 8:00am on the 13 and fly in to SL at 7ish on the 17. It's going to be a nice, long weekend. I'm looking forward to spending more time with him. It will be nice to just relax and BE with someone. Last time I was there we only went out once, and I imagine that this time will be about the same. I can't wait!

My life!!

2009-02-05T13:07:00.005-07:00

So I do like my new job but of course the first time I was on my own, I made SEVERAL mistakes. Not huge, "they're going to fire me" mistakes, but enough to make me look completely incompetent. I forgot that they needed a projector, but that was an easy fix. I forgot to get petty cash for people paying at the door. I didn't print enough materials. But the biggest one was that I didn't order enough food. I know this is a big one, but you'd think that not getting lunch was like asking them to go without food for a week! Anyway, disaster was averted when there was extra food from another event however, I still got the most withering looks.

Currently listening...

2009-01-21T22:13:00.006-07:00

1. Bomb the Bass - Black River
2. Sigur Ros - Saeglopur
3. Coldplay - Viva La Vida
4. George Acosta - Trust
5. Whitest Boy Alive - Golden Cage (Fred Falke remix)
6. Tiesto and BT - Love Comes Again
7. Kaskade - Sweet Love
8. Pearl Jam - Black
9. Ben Folds - Rockin' the Suburbs
10. Narcotic Thrust - I Like It

This is a VERY random selection for this month. I guess the one I can't get enough of is Golden Cage. This is a song that may take a little getting used to but pretty soon you'll find yourself humming it at work, etc. It is FUNKY and a lot of fun! This song came from Skip, as did Black River. Another one that is a lot of fun. It is dark and delicious!

I Like It was one of the songs that R___ and I used to listen to before we went out. We would be driving in the Lexus with all the windows and the sunroof down and have the music up as loud as possible, just belting the lyrics and dancing. I heard another song that was on the same CD recently which reminded me of this one and I had to add it to the list.

Saeglopur is on a commercial for the Prince of Persia video game and it is absolutely beautiful. It has a piercing melody and a good balance between elements. I think it's a little hard to listen to the entire seven minutes, but it is good for background music that you can tune in and out of. While I don't listen to the whole thing at once, it is still a good find.

The other songs listed are my "oldies but goodies" for this month. A friend of mine reminded me of the lyrics to Black and got me thinking about that. Other than that, the Tiesto/BT is a favorite as is Sweet Love. But I can pretty much guarantee that anything Kaskade is worth listening to.

Whoa! Wow!

2009-01-21T13:07:00.002-07:00

S___ posted a video on Facebook yesterday and I cannot get enough of it! It makes me laugh hysterically every time I watch it. Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37EMBdL9-bw

I am rejoining the ranks of contributing members of society tomorrow...

2009-01-11T23:00:00.005-07:00

I start my new job tomorrow. I will be working for the Utah State Bar Continuing Legal Education department. I am so excited! I would have been happy with any job, but I'm ecstatic that I got this job.

I interviewed for it in December and got a second interview, but they ended up hiring someone else. I really wanted this job so I was pretty disappointed when I didn't get it. The job started on January 5, and on January 9 I got a call from the woman that I interviewed with saying that the girl they hired wasn't working out and she was going to have to let her go. Then she told me that she should have hired me in the first place, which was nice to hear.

So, working for the state means I have great benefits, which I'm more excited about than anything else. It means I can start using my pump again, and not go completely bankrupt from buying insulin and other supplies.

On a side note, I went to the endocrinologist last week and my A1c is down to 8.3% which is better than it's been in 2 years! I know it's not great, but it's a hell of a lot better than it's been and it's motivation to get it even lower by April.

Life is really hard, but I have never been happier!

Currently listening...

2008-12-30T14:24:00.002-07:00

1. Armin Van Buuren - The Sound of Goodbye
2. Jes - Imagination (Kaskade remix)
3. Sunlounger - Another Day On the Terrace
4. Sultan - No Why (Starsweeper Summer Breeze remix)
5. Robbie Rivera - Float Away (Ali Dubfire remix)
6. Starsweeper - Sexual
7. Rui Da Silva - Touch Me
8. Coldplay - Don't Panic
9. Rise Against - Swing Life Away
10. Sunlounger - White Sand (Armin Van Buuren remix)

My friends and I create albums. We don't just make "mix-tape" compilations, we actually compose a track listing according (as much as possible) to beat matching, style, etc. Our albums have titles and the most recent one we made was "Skip's Picks, Vol. 1" which contains some of the songs listed in this month's posting. The CD is all trance, but not too hard.

I first heard a DJ friend's mix of No Why about a year ago and fell in love with it. I had never heard of Sultan, but loved this mix. Since then, and especially recently, I have heard more and more from Sultan, and have come to appreciate him as a producer, and a DJ. I got to see him play at the Depot the night before Thanksgiving, and he was INCREDIBLE!

The Sound of Goodbye is one of my favorite Armin songs. It is dark and dirty and I love it! The other track from Armin (well, his remix anyway) is White Sand. The guitar in this song makes me so happy every time I hear it.

I love Jes' voice. Skip and Girl found Imagination one night and couldn't stop talking about it. I have to say, I agree with their high opinion of the song, but wouldn't expect anything less from Kaskade.

As always, all the tracks listed are definitely worth checking out. They make my life enjoyable, or when things are really bad, at least bearable.

The Clubhouse!

2008-12-12T17:44:00.003-07:00

One of the BEST ideas we have ever had was last Saturday night. We discovered an entrance to the attic in our hallway, and decided to go exploring. S___ hoisted us up on his shoulders and we disappeared into the darkness. It was so dirty up there!! We had to find a beam each time we put our foot down, but G___ and S___ and I carefully meandered our way to the front windows and looked out. It was so cool to see the street from that perspective.

When we finally got S___ to let us back down, we were covered in insulation and dirt. I had a couple of good scratches on my right forearm; battle wounds!! So now, we're going to make a "No Girls Allowed" clubhouse up there with a rope-ladder and everything! It's going to be so much fun! Grand opening next weekend and as far as invitations go, you know who you are...

Update #2

2008-12-05T17:07:00.003-07:00

Obviously almost every post is an update, but my very first post back in February was titled "Update #1" and I'm structuring this one exactly like that one. So here it is...

I live next to SLCC with my best friend and her two girls, my goddaughters.

I do not have a job.

I am still not married; not even close.

I am not dating anyone at the moment. And I don't really have the desire to.

I still live less than five miles away from my family and while I was seeing them more frequently for a while, I am back to hardly seeing them at all.

I will be 25 on my next birthday in March. And I CANNOT wait!

I have never been as happy as I am right now.

I did not know I had the capacity to love as much as I do until I met my "Crew" this year.

I have the most amazing friends. I know everyone thinks that they have the best friends, but we actually do.

mommy moments and unemployment

2008-12-05T12:31:00.005-07:00

Since I am unemployed, I have become a part-time nanny for my goddaughters, who I live with. I posted earlier about having them home sick with me, but I also have them frequently in the evenings as well.

Wednesday morning G___ took Allee to school and went to work early. I was supposed to get Kalaya up and ready for school, and her dad was going to pick her up. I went in to wake her up and started calling her name, rubbing her back, gently shaking her and even giving her patty-pats. She told me her tummy hurt but I know she doesn't like getting up in the morning and told her that I would make her some toast, and that would probably help her feel better. Apparently, I'm not very convincing because that had absolutely no effect on her whatsoever. I called G___ and told her and while I was on the phone, I turned around and Kalaya had her hand over her mouth and I could tell she was vomiting. I grabbed her pajama top (which had been tossed on the floor in the middle of the night) and dumped her hand into it and then grabbed her to take her into the bathroom. I was still on the phone, while carrying Kalaya and getting thrown up on. Fine, whatever. She's four, and it really didn't bother me all that much.

I put her in the bathtub, stripped the bed and started a load of laundry with sheets, and both mine and Kalaya's pajamas. I put fresh sheets on the bed and new pajamas on Kalaya and we went and climbed back in bed. I had a bowl next to her and we were cuddling with her CareBear. My back was to her and all of a sudden, I heard her coughing and once again, my shoulder was covered in vomit. *BREATHE* It's okay. These things happen. But there's a bowl ON THE OTHER SIDE OF HER!! *BREATHE*

So we went through the whole ordeal again of cleaning up, but instead of getting back in bed, this time we sat on the living room floor, with the bowl in her lap. This time, I'm ready.

Well, she was fine the rest of the day but all I could think was this: This kind of thing isn't supposed to happen until AFTER you have children. Again, it honestly didn't bother me all that much, but even still...I got thrown up on twice but a sweet, sick little girl.

Regarding my job hunt: Today marks the 52nd day that I have been unemployed. I have applied for close to 100 jobs and have had two interviews. The few weeks I've had off so far have been nice and while the main driving force behind my job hunt is the income thing (go figure), I am already extremely bored and fear that too much more of this will drive me to a Fear and Loathing type experience, dragging my family with me. Only in this case, we're going to Mexico.

Currently listening...

2008-12-04T19:16:00.003-07:00

A little late on the posting again. This is my list for November:

1. Wippenberg - Chakalaka
2. Keemo & Tim Royko - Beautiful Lie
3. The Mitchell Project - Alive
4. Agnelli & Nelson - Holding Onto Nothing
5. Portishead - Cowboys
6. Coldplay - Don't Panic
7. RJD2 - Smoke & Mirrors
8. Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
9. Postal Service - Such Great Heights
10. Armin Van Buuren feat. Racoon - Love You More

The first four tracks are from a CD that a friend made titled "November Trance" and if you would like a copy (because it's worth listening to the whole thing) let me know and I will get you one. Beautiful Lie is my favorite track on the CD, followed closely by Alive.

The next few are songs that I listened to in the airport on my way too and from Kansas. They are songs that I have enjoyed for years (in every case except for Smoke & Mirrors which I've been enjoying for months) but don't listen to as frequently. Definitely worth checking out, or revisiting.

And Love You More was introduced to me by a good friend a couple of weeks ago. The vocal mixed with the trance background is a perfect match, in my opinion.

Sign language

2008-12-04T15:34:00.005-07:00

We left a friend in charge of Kalaya one day. Not for the whole day, just for an hour. What we came home to was sweet little Kalaya Maggie Vincent doing sign language. This friend had taught her how to say "I love you, Mom," in sign language. Here's the picture:

Since the picture is a still, and motion is involved, I'll explain it. To say, "I love you, Mom," in sign language, you put your hands above your ears and extend each index finger. Then, in rapid motion, retract and extend each finger while moving your tongue in and out of your mouth like a lizard. Easy enough.

The other sign she learned was the actual "I love you." I showed her how to do it and positioned her hand correctly. Then she started waving it around and translated, "I love you forever!" I think it's going to catch on.

So yesterday I asked Kalaya to do "I love you, Mom" for me so I could take a picture to show people how to do sign language. Her response at first was no, but then she said okay, if she could do the Shep face first. Not big, just little. So here's a picture of that:

Lawrence, KS and Thanksgiving Update...

2008-11-29T09:25:00.004-07:00

So I put on my ruby slippers, clicked my heels three times, and I'm in Lawrence, Kansas! How amazing is that?

Seriously, I am in Kansas until Tuesday and this is the first time I have been where there are no mountains. I'm completely disoriented and have no sense of direction. Not that I need to know where I am; I'm in Kansas for goodness sake! I have a friend just about finished with his master's degree from the University of Kansas so what better way to spend my Thanksgiving weekend except out here in the heart of the country I am thankful for? There's probably a few things I can think of that might be better, but I am having fun regardless.

On a slightly different note, we cooked Thanksgiving dinner this year and I am extremely proud of the way things turned out. All the food was not just good, but very good and we only had to call various family members for help/instructions three times. Overall, an AMAZING holiday! What's on the lineup for Christmas??

I just have to reiterate this one more time (at least for now): I have the most amazing friends. I hope everyone at some point in their life experiences a relationship like I have with these people. We should all be so lucky...

My Infinite Playlist - Vol. 4

2008-11-20T16:25:00.001-07:00

Dream Academy - Life In a Northern Town

Depeche Mode - Blasphemous Rumours

Counting Crows - Colorblind

Pearl Jam - Jeremy

Andain - Beautiful Things

Motorcycle - As The Rush Comes

Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

Air - Playground Love

Morcheeba - World Looking In

Portishead - Roads

Massive Attack - Angel

Fleetwood Mac - Dreams

Incubus - Agoraphobia

Zero 7 - The Pageant of the Bizarre

Weezer - Island In the Sun

Sublime - Wrong Way

Everclear - Sunflowers

Lily Allen - Everything's Just Wonderful

Sia - Lentil

Guns N Roses - Paradise City

My Infinite Playlist - Vol. 3

2008-11-20T16:24:00.000-07:00

So I know I've been posting these frequently, but Scott and I get to talking about them and remember more and more songs that I need to list. Which means I already have Vol. 4 finished as well...

We went and saw ATB on October 10 and he played mixes of both Hide and Seek and Mr. Brightside...fucking amazing! That's all I have to say about that...for now.

Green Day - Brain Stew

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy

Gorillaz - 19-2000

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

Pearl Jam - Even Flow

The Killers - Mr. Brightside

The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army

Hole - Doll Parts

Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek

Frou Frou - Let Go

Regina Spektor - The Ghost of Corporate Future

Tenacious D - Tribute

God Lives Underwater - From Your Mouth

Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground

Poe - Angry Johnny

Royal Bliss - Fine Wine and Champagne

Fountains of Wayne - Someone to Love

Our Lady Peace - Superman's Dead

Sister Hazel - Champagne High

Sarah McLachlan - Good Enough

I kinda want one...

2008-11-20T16:09:00.002-07:00

I've had the girls home sick with me for the last few days and it has reinforced the feeling of wanting a child that I started having a couple of weeks ago. We were at S___ house and I found myself envious of my friends that are parents. Most of the time I love being the aunt or godmother but this particular night I was keenly aware of the fact that there are certain things only a mother can do for children, whether they are hers or not.

Now, truthfully I don't believe that I will ever have children. And I really am okay with that. It's not because I'm single and think I won't ever find anyone or the fact that I'm diabetic. There are several reasons (which I choose not to discuss at this time) for this belief. I guess it's just that the experience of having the girls all day is something that has tripped my biological clock. But I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough.

Currently listening...

2008-11-06T12:15:00.003-07:00

Okay, so this is my October "Currently listening..." post because we don't have internet at home right now and this is the first chance I've had to post it.

Just as a couple months ago I did In Search of Sunrise 7 for the whole post, October has been all about In Search Of Sunrise 5. Here is the track listing:

In Search of Sunrise 5: Los Angeles
Disc: 1
1. Conil - Malibu Beach
2. Mark Norman Pres. Celine - Colour My Eyes
3. Late Night Alumni - Empty Streets
4. Electro Prompt - Beside Me (Gothek DC Remix)
5. Fonzarelli - Moonlight Party
6. Leama & Moor - Everything Matters (Matthew Dekay Remix)
7. Matthew Dekay Vs. Proluctors - Let The Game Begin
8. Karen Overton - Your Loving Arms (Club Mix)
9. Parker & Hanson - Let Me Be (Extended Mix)
10. Kalafut & Fugle - Novocaine (Mark Otten Remix)
11. Jes - People Will Go (Steve Forte Rio Remix)
12. Basic Perspective - Small Step On the Other Side
13. Tom Cloud - Told You So
14. A.M. - Arise (Hammer & Fubayashi Remix)
15. Cass - Little Bird

A-MAY-ZING! I have been listening to this one at least as much as 7. I have several favorite "moments":
The first thirteen minutes, which are the first three tracks are my favorite grouping. I love everything about the first 13 minutes. Your Loving Arms has my favorite lyrics and favorite "instant" moment; when it comes in on the offbeat at about minute 40. Ooh...gives me chills. Let Me Be has my favorite vocals; her voice is so passionate. And finally, Novocaine has my favorite instrumental part. When the guitar comes in, simply and purely. This is a fan-fucking-tastic album! That's all I have to say about that.

Well worth it

2008-10-14T11:01:00.002-06:00

Definitely splurge. That's my advice. I know that I'm the only one that actually pays attention to the prices, and the only one that actually buys them, but the fact remains that the real, non-generic brand is well worth the extra dollars.

When I remember that I've got it at a certain point, I will expose you to the joy that it can bring you. It is pure bliss in that moment and I regard it as my duty to magnify the experience. In that one moment, it creates heaven. The noises and lights of your surroundings will drop away and nothing else will exist. The world is perfect; there is nothing that can detract from that fullness.

I do not know, nor really understand, the intricacies that make the generic so different from the real thing, but in the long run, I don't need to know. What I do know is this: I am willing to pay the somewhat questionable pricetag in exchange for the enjoyment I, and the people around me, get.

My Infinite Playlist - Vol 2

2008-10-09T09:04:00.000-06:00

A Perfect Circle - Imagine

Led Zeppelin - When the Levy Breaks

The Doors - Riders On the Storm

The Church - Under the Milky Way

Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart

Gary Jules - Mad World

Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright - Set the Fire to the Third Bar

Muse - Unintended

Pearl Jam - Daughter

Bush - Glycerine

Chevelle - The Red

Incubus - Clean

Counting Crows - Raining in Baltimore

New Order - Blue Monday

Alice in Chains - The Rooster

Pink Floyd - Time

Pearl Jam - Black

Incubus - Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Lovesong)

The Brazilian Girls - All About Us

Snow Patrol - Spitting Games

These are fun to do because it reminds me of old music. Old in the sense that it's been around for a long time, and old in the sense that I used to listen to it, but it's been so long that I have almost forgotten how much I love it. My "Currently listening..." is a different type of list.

The other thing about the "Infinite Playlist" posts is that they can be, in fact, infinite. So whenever I have a list compiled, expect to see it.

My Infinite Playlist - Vol 1

2008-10-09T08:49:00.002-06:00

Counting Crows - Round Here

Zero 7 - Destiny

Delerium feat. Sarah McLachlan - Silence

REM - Everybody Hurts

Counting Crows - Anna Begins

Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees

A Perfect Circle - Three Libras

Muse - Newborn

Counting Crows - Goodnight Elisabeth

Hot Chip - (Just Like We) Breakdown

Sia - The Girl You Lost to Cocaine

Depeche Mode - Somebody

Counting Crows - A Murder of One

The Rolling Stones - Sympathy For the Devil

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

Sia - Breathe Me

Nirvana - Heart-Shaped Box

Credence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

Ben Folds - The Luckiest

Soundgarden - Spoonman

Did that seriously just happen?

2008-10-06T14:18:00.003-06:00

Imagine that you are at a red light behind a couple of cars. As you wait, the following situation transpires:

The passenger's door of the sedan directly in front of you opens and a small styrofoam cup and plastic spoon are dropped onto the ground and the door closes. Seconds later the driver's door of the F-350 that is next to the sedan opens and the driver hops down, picks up the cup and spoon and tosses them into the back of his truck. He climbs back in and as you watch, the truck inches forward and you can see the driver's head craning forward, apparently trying (and perhaps succeeding) to read the license plate number of the sedan.

Now, maybe I should be a little more environmentally conscious but for someone to feel such an inflated sense of self-righteousness to go as far as to pick up a piece of garbage and call the police about it has me far more troubled than the person who actually littered.

Two things

2008-10-06T10:52:00.002-06:00

First of all, the Mexico thing is a long-term business plan so while parts of it are underway, it realistically is not going to happen on the schedule that I had originally planned. S___ and I are going to fly down on the 15th (since we already have the tickets) and scope things out to see where the most fruitful place would be, BUT, we will be coming back on the 19th, indefinitely.

And B:

My date was fun. I highly doubt I will ever see him again but hey, at least I got to date a millionaire for one night...

Revision

2008-10-03T10:50:00.000-06:00

So it appears that there is one more HUGE reason to be looking forward to October 15. That, my friends, is the day we are moving to Mexico to sell tacos on the beach. I booked the flight yesterday (courtesy of my sugar daddy) and the family is on our way! Our taco cart was ordered on Monday so it's in the works and will be shipped directly to Mexico from Portland. Their slogan is "If you dream it, we can build it," so we submitted our specs and more quickly than we had planned, our Mexico adventure is becoming reality.

The Top 10 Reasons Why I Am Looking Forward to Oct 15...

2008-10-03T10:49:00.000-06:00

10. I will not receive wake-up calls from my boss at 6:22 am. EVER. No one should even be awake at that hour, let alone receiving phone calls from their employer.

9. I will (or may) not have to be at work by 7:30 am. Again, it is far too early to expect functionality let alone productivity from me.

8. I could get a job with health benefits.

7. While I'm sure I will still work with some idiots, at least it will be a change of idio-scenery.

6. Even though I might not be working, I will still be getting paid until November.

5. I won't be plagued by nonsensical issues as I'm trying to walk out the door to catch my train which I inevitably miss and then subsequently curse the person responsible.

4. If I am attending Gay Pride in Reno, I will not have to field phone calls and put out nonexistent fires or listen to bullshit that will still be there on Mon...well, Tuesday.

3. I can collect unemployment!

2. I will have already seen ATB, which I've been looking forward to for months.

And the number one reason I'm looking forward to October 15:

1. I will no longer receive lectures on how if my phone was where it was supposed to be, I would not have left it at home (or in someone's car that lives in Pleasant Grove), regardless of the fact that I don't actually NEED my phone while at work since I have a phone on every surface that I might possibly be within reach of, AND I have enough numbers memorized to be able to function without my phone for a few hours.

Currently listening...

2008-09-28T10:50:00.001-06:00

1. RJD2 - Ghostwriter
2. Chicane - Saltwater
3. M.I.A. - Paper Planes
4. Kings of Tomorrow - Finally
5. Pearl Jam - Evenflow
6. Chris Cornell - Sunshower
7. Radiohead - Karma Police
8. A:xus feat. Naomi - Baghdad Cafe (Callin' U)
9. Kaskade - Meditation to the Groove
10. Astrud Gilberto - The Gentle Rain (RJD2 remix)

Ghostwriter is my song of the week/month/year. I LOVE this song and cannot get enough of it, which is why I don't know how long I will continue to play it over and over and over. I acquired an iPod a few weeks ago and while some of the music on it is pretty decent, most of it I'm unfamiliar with and don't really care to listen to to get to know. However, there is quite a bit of RJD2 on it, which is where I discovered Ghostwriter. This song makes me dance while I'm walking down the street and I don't care what people think.

I looked back through my previous "Currently listening..." posts and didn't see Paper Planes anywhere, which I was surprised about. This is a bouncy song. You'll know what I mean when you listen to it.

The rest of these songs are all worth checking out (obviously or I wouldn't be posting them) and I love being constantly reminded of songs that I have enjoyed for years, but have forgotten about for various reasons.

So I talked to S___ yesterday...

2008-09-23T09:24:00.009-06:00

I have the most amazing friends. Seriously. Not because of anything they do for me specifically, just because of who they are, and the way they enrich my life.

We went to Logan on Saturday for a friend's birthday. It wasn't his birthday party, just his birthday and some of his friends in Logan happened to be having a party. So when everyone was getting ready to crash, and he wasn't quite ready to go, I decided to stay with him since the whole reason we were in Logan was because of him. We ended up talking for about 12 hours. A lot of it was talking things out and talking things through, but a lot of it was also just
T A L K I N G. I learned so much about this person that means more to me than almost anyone in my life.

I didn't know I could love people as much as I love my current (and forever) group of friends. Someone outside of the group made the observation that "It's like you're all in love with each other," and when I heard that, I had to agree. I have my friends, family and lovers (in the sense that we're all in love with each other) in one group. Does it get any better than that? My friend and I got along these lines of conversation and were talking about being single versus being in a relationship. At this point I wondered: What if, in twenty years, we're still single. But we have this AMAZING group of friends. Would it really be so terrible to have six other people that you're in love with and that mean everything to you for the rest of your life, as opposed to having that one person? That one person could be everything and absolutely incredible, but would it really be a bad thing if we had each other instead?

This is something I've been giving a lot of thought to over the last little while and I have come to the conclusion that for me, having six is far better than having one. I would rather be where I am with my family than conform to society's standard of "settling down" and being in a traditional relationship. I love my friends; I love my life more now than I ever have before. And that is largely due to my hand-picked family that IS my life.

I'm one of those people

2008-09-19T09:45:00.003-06:00

I am one of those people that "surprise" takes my friends on dates. Actually, I never had until last night, but it was a fairly major faux pas.

So I was supposed to go to the Picasso to Monet exhibit with this guy last week, and (half) jokingly I said okay but only if he would take Girl too. He said yes, so then I told him that Skip was coming along as well. No big deal. We didn't end up going to the museum but started talking on Monday about going out this week. So we decided to go to Desert Edge last night to sit on the patio and I asked him if he minded if Skip and Girl joined us. A couple hours later, I received a phone call from Girl wondering if Scott could come along. I hesitated on this one. But in the end said okay. Mostly because Scott's been out of town the last two weeks and I just miss him and wanted to see him. Is that bad?

First off, I rode to the restaurant with Girl and Skip. I live with Girl, it makes sense since I don't have a car to ride with her. So already I felt like we were ganging up on him a little, albeit unintentionally. We went inside and met the guy, and I know that we can be slightly overwhelming so Skip went to the bathroom, he met Girl and then met Skip a couple minutes later. So far, so good. I still hadn't told him that Scott was coming, and I almost felt bad about it. Anyway, Scott showed up and met the guy and we grabbed a table and sat down. Girl and I can be a bit of a handful when we get together. We know this. Since Scott had been out of town, Girl and I got into our high-pitched, excited voices and start talking and laughing hysterically. The poor guy next to me at that point was not only on a non-date with me, but I had my three BEST friends with me and was more into them than I was into him. Oops.

Long story short: We were there for a couple of hours and I didn't completely ignore my date, but I was definitely not as attentive as I could have been. And I ALMOST felt bad.

New Tattoo

2008-09-18T12:56:00.004-06:00

Oh, and I think I'm ready for my new tattoo.

I'm using the A Perfect Circle emblem as a template, but I want mine a couple inches lower and not quite as big. Since I'm a Pisces, I'm going to have two fish trailing each other. For some reason, I've just always envisioned the fish in royal blue, but we'll see when I get there.

It is what it is

2008-09-18T12:29:00.002-06:00

My favorite saying in the whole world:

it is what it is

Fits any situation, really. To me, it means that whatever "it" is might be good or bad, but however I might feel about "it" doesn't change anything.

For example: The fact that someone very dear to my heart is lying to me upsets me not because of the actual lying, but because there's absolutely NO REASON for the lying. But, it is what it is, and I accept it and now take everything he says with a grain of salt, and a hint of skepticism. To call him on it would risk pushing him away and the lies are not earth-shattering so, to me, the cons outweight the pros of addressing this issue.

While I could go on and on about this saying, I just started feeling very lazy and will suffice it to say this:
Whether or not I am successful in keeping this in mind for interpreting circumstances that I come across does not change the fact that it's something I strive for. It helps me clear my head and not react (or overreact) in the heat of the moment. It prevents my "crimes of passion."

Writing for me

2008-09-18T10:52:00.004-06:00

I write this blog for myself. I write so I can work out my feelings with regard to other people, situations and also myself. The things that I write may be interpreted however you wish, but remember that it doesn't matter what they mean to you. I'm the only one that matters here.

Girls, girls, girls

2008-09-16T22:16:00.007-06:00

I originally posted this back in February and am reposting it now. It's interesting to note that when I first posted it, I was living with these girls and it just so happens that the last month I have been living with them again.

Here is the original post that I saved when I removed it:

So I moved in with a friend of mine for the month of February and she has two kids. Obviously I've been around children most of my life, but it's been a while. The three year old, Kalaya, likes to climb in bed with me. It's great because I like snuggling her but she falls asleep with a bag of crackers every night. Crumbs. Everywhere. For some reason, I can feel every single, tiny, miniscule piece that ends up between the sheets. Now I know why I was never allowed to eat cookies in bed.

Kalaya is a tantrum thrower. I know I was pretty bad, but I don't remember most of it. Nile, on the other hand, I remember throwing herself on the floor and hitting her head and screaming. This is the kind of tantrum Kalaya throws. Multiple times a day; especially at dinner and bath time. Dinner is a very casual affair. Very rarely are we expected to sit together or even eat together, but every so often when it is required, the girls don't like this change in routine. Kalaya has the scream that is so high pitched it makes you think your ears might start bleeding. This is a tantrum scream, but it's also a playtime scream. It becomes difficult to differentiate between the two, and my ears hurt regardless.

Allee, on the other hand, is fairly reserved. She is eight and EXTREMELY smart; we do her homework together and then she reads to me. She has just started losing teeth, and lost one of her front ones last week. It's so adorable with that space right in front. I don't get as much Allee time as I would like, but it is what it is, and Kalaya is a good substitute. I love these girls and it's been rewarding to have young children back in my life.
That's all.
♥

Subtle Sacrifices

2008-09-03T22:39:00.004-06:00

We do it all day, every day. Things we would rather not do in order to accommodate the people we associate with; whether it be friends, family or colleagues. We eat on the patio, when we would rather eat inside. We go to this club, instead of that bar. Small things, really. Things that go unnoticed but in actuality do make a difference. I appreciate those who make subtle sacrifices for me. If I don't verbally express appreciation it's not because I don't feel it. So thank you, for doing those things that you do, even though you may not want to.

more pictures...

2008-09-03T15:25:00.001-06:00

Here's a few more pictures.

Pictures

2008-09-03T15:22:00.003-06:00

Piper called me today and complained that I don't post pictures with my writing. So here are some pictures from my friend Chantelle's birthday last Friday.

Cleansing

2008-08-29T08:41:00.003-06:00

I started the Master Cleanse with a couple of friends on Tuesday so today is DAY 4. From the beginning, I haven't been terribly hungry but with normal hunger you start to feel hungry and then it progresses. When I get hungry with this, it's like all of a sudden I feel like I'm going to die if I don't get something RIGHT NOW! So I have my lemonade close by and whenever I get hungry, have some water/tea/lemonade.

Now this morning, I still have not had any lemonade despite having been up for an hour and a half because when I got to work, I made some mint tea and have my bottle of water next to me. Drinking is pretty constant throughout the day, but when I NEED sustenance, I go for the lemonade. I brought two 32ish oz. bottles of lemonade to work but don't want to go through it too quickly because once I'm out, I have to wait until I get home and today is a 10-hour day. Today's batch of lemonade has slightly less cayenne pepper because I noticed yesterday that my tastebuds are starting to feel a bit numb.

I've noticed (and it describes this in the book) that I have more mucus in my throat. I am slightly more congested, but my throat is pretty covered so I am constantly trying to swallow, since I never learned to spit. I have a slight fever, but all in all feel pretty good. I think I'm going to try and do it through next Sunday, September 7, which will be 13 days but it's a very doable goal.

We'll see how it goes...

Currently listening...

2008-08-25T08:14:00.006-06:00

This month's post is dedicated to (one disc of) one album:

Tiesto - In Search of Sunrise 7

Disc: 1
1. Feel the Sun Rise - Banyan Tree
2. Wasted - Andy Duguid
3. Yohkoh (King Unique Original Mix) - King Unique
4. Space Katzle (Jerome Sydenham Remix) - Motorcitysoul
5. Feel the Rhythm (Ton Tb Dub Mix) - Three Drives
6. To Forever (Moonbeam Remix) - Rachael Starr
7. The Storm (Inpetto Remix) - Jerry Ropero
8. Get Lifted - Kamui
9. Ride (Tiesto Remix) - Cary Brothers
10. Denial - Airbase
11. Reason To Believe - Dokmai
12. 6am (Kyau & Albert Remix) - Cressida
13. Power of You - Allure
14. Hua-Hin - Clouded Leopard

I have been listening to this album for a week, nonstop. The disc that I have is not tracked, so I know the whole thing by minutes. My favorite is at minute 37, which is Ride (Tiesto Remix) - Cary Brothers. I really don't know what to write about it because the whole thing is amazing. So check it out.

Follow up

2008-08-19T08:39:00.004-06:00

This is a follow-up to the post "Huh? What?" from July 21. And basically, the decision of whether to continue seeing him or not was made for me. He stopped calling on a regular basis, and then stopped calling pretty much altogether. And that's good.

Plus then a LOT of drama started involving him which has made it that much easier to stay away from him completely. So I'm done!

Wakeboards and mosquito bites

2008-08-12T11:57:00.006-06:00

Beaucoup mosquito bites!

A couple weekends ago, I was down in Saratoga Springs with some friends and wakeboarded for the first time this summer. We had a blast out on the boat on Saturday evening and Sunday day. Saturday after we came off the lake, we were hanging around outside for just a bit when Skip told me that we were surrounded by a cloud of mosquitoes, and that we should probably head in. I told him that I don't get mosquito bites, which is my standard answer when people start complaining about the little buggers. In actuality, I do get bites, but I've decided that I must not be allergic to mosquitoes because the bites do not itch. I get little red dots that go away after a few days. John said the same thing, and sure enough, when Sunday rolled around, he and I were COVERED with bites. I have, literally, about 40 bites on my right shoulder and arm and I counted at least 35 on my right foot and leg. I've never met anyone else like me that gets bites, but doesn't get irritated by them. So here's to having blood like mine (and John's, I guess): Too bad most of you don't.

Pass the buck?

2008-08-06T13:57:00.004-06:00

I work in an industry where EVERYTHING I deal with has to be accounted for, and the ability to account for it must remain intact for seven years. Whether it's the video, exhibits, or actual transcript of a deposition, if something is missing, there's a problem. So when I received a phone call this morning about missing exhibits from a deposition that was taken three weeks ago, the first thought is a little bit of panic trying to remember if I ever had the exhibits, and if so, if I'm the one that has misplaced them. This was dispelled when I talked to the reporter, who informed me that the attorney made a big deal about not wanting the reporter to take the exhibits, and not wanting the exhibits attached to the transcript. When she told me this, I called up the reporting firm that had initially called me and relayed my conversation with the reporter to the contact at the other firm. Now, in my mind, there was no problem on our end. We had done what needed to be done, and it's completely out of our hands. Or so I thought.

Twenty minutes later the phone rang again, and it was the same reporting firm telling me that the attorney told them that the reporter retained the exhibits in order to finish the transcript. So once again, I called the reporter and had THE SAME conversation that she and I had just had half an hour prior to this. That the attorney made a big deal, and was not very nice, about the reporter NOT taking the exhibits. So the reporter made sure that she left them there. So what else could I do except call the reporting firm back, and tell them again that neither the reporter, nor anyone at our firm had ever had the exhibits.

Several hours later, I received ANOTHER phone call, this time from a different person at the same firm who asked if I had talked to the reporter about the exhibits. This was irritating, to say the least, and when I repeated the conversation I had already had twice with the reporter, the woman at the other firm told me that she had spoken to the attorney and the witness, and both of them remember the reporter thumbing through the exhibits while at the job. I talked to the reporter AGAIN, and when I called the reporting firm back, told them that nobody from our firm had ever had the exhibits, and that I was sorry, but there was nothing else I could do for them. The level of disdain in the woman's voice was so great, it literally brought me to tears. Not because I felt bad about what had happened, but because I've already been an emotional wreck this week, and I hate getting yelled at, especially when I haven't done anything to deserve it.

Now obviously, somebody in this scenario is lying. The problem is, it's not me, and I have no idea how to go about finding out who it is. Not that it really matters at this point, but the fact that people are going in circles blaming everyone else when it would be so easy (and make my life much simpler) for someone to buck up and admit that they had the exhibits at one point, and do not have them anymore is frustrating to no end. ESPECIALLY when I found myself in a similar situation recently and when I realized that I had indeed lost the exhibits, immediately told the people that needed to know, and apologized profusely for it. My apology didn't bring them back, and it's still a bit of a sticky situation, but at least there can be trust. Because of what happened in the former situation, I'm having a hard time trusting the people at the other reporting firm, the attorney, and even the reporter that I work with.

I'm not saying that I always do the right thing, or do everything right, but it's very infuriating to think that a lot of people continually pass the buck until it becomes impossible to do so.

Currently listening...

2008-07-28T11:28:00.002-06:00

1. Armin Van Buuren - Burned With Desire
2. Jem - They
3. Adam K - Long Distance
4. Kaskade - Your Love Is Black
5. Bob Sinclair - World Hold On
6. Sia - Lentil
7. Kaskade - 4 AM (Adam K & Soha Remix)
8. Zero 7 - The Pageant of the Bizarre
9. The Cure - Lullaby
10. The Cure - Just Like Heaven

So rather than compiling my list the day I post my "Currently listening..." I decided this time to build it throughout the month when I get stuck on a song (or songs), which resulted in a SUPER random list. Of course there's the expected house tracks, and the sentimental ones, but there's also songs I have kind of forgotten about, such as Lullaby. I was at a friend's house a couple of weeks ago and after a long, full, and tiring weekend, he was playing music for us and happened to play Lullaby. I love this song and have not heard it for years. So thank you, Frank.

World Hold On is my new Myspace song; I was listening to this one night with a couple friends while coming home from the club and I WISH I knew how to whistle! This is one of those songs that makes me happy every time I hear it.

The two songs by Kaskade are on his latest album, Strobelite Seduction, which I have mentioned repeatedly, but just cannot get enough of. A dj friend of mine played his remix of one of the tracks and the conversation that ensued was mostly about how the greatest thing about his mix was that now the song is eight minutes long; twice as long as the original, and worth every second of listening.

Then of course, there's Sia. I love her and true love lasts a lifetime. She is the vocalist for The Pageant of the Bizarre as well which is off Zero 7's album, The Garden. I just love her voice. The emotion she puts in is unbelievable. The best show I have EVER seen. Period.

Huh? What?

2008-07-21T10:51:00.003-06:00

Some people are far more presumptuous than they should be. Or perhaps they are too presumptuous of certain situations. I'm hoping that the most recent assumptions made on my behalf fall into the latter category.

This guy I've been hanging out with invited me over on Friday night and when I got there proceeded to tell me that I had a crush on him, and that I know he's not looking for anything but I desperately wish that would change, and that I would move in with him and be with him in a heartbeat if he asked me to. Now, only ONE of those things is true. It is true that I have a crush on him. However, the biggest factor preventing me from EVER considering a relationship with him is that he has four children, and I am nowhere near ready to take on motherhood, especially if they're not my own children. Just because I have a crush on him, and enjoy spending time with him, DOES NOT mean I want a relationship with him. Yet somehow, that's all he hears from me. Not only am I not allowed to interrupt him while he's telling me things about myself, I don't even get a chance to respond. So now my question is this: Do I write him an email or text since I can't ever tell him out loud what I'm thinking? Or do I just stop hanging out with him altogether?

Both options have their advantages. I feel that I write fairly well and can express myself through writing so if I write an email detailing my thoughts and feelings, he'll be able to understand a bit more clearly where I'm coming from. Although, if I just cut him off completely, I don't have to worry about how he's going to interpret everything I say. Plus he lives in Herriman, which is just too far to consider a relationship, IF that's what EITHER ONE of us was interested in, which we're not.

After this terribly presumptuous conversation (PC) that we had, he then proceeded to tell me to not get attached to him. Of course, my immediate response is that I'm not getting attached. Which is mostly the case. I do feel an attachment to him, but on a much more platonic than romantic level. I consider him one of my friends and think that I know him better than most of his friends do, at the moment. So any attachment that I'm feeling, is not due to any romantic feelings that I might have, but rather for a friend. So after thinking about it, I told him I'm really not attached to him, in "that way."

Although speaking of attachment...two weeks ago he told me he loved me. So what am I supposed to do with that?? I asked him, and he said not to ever use that against him again. So I said I wouldn't, but I'm still awfully confused about the whole thing. Then, on Thursday morning (the day before the PC) I woke up to a text that said:

Its weird. Don't get the wrong idea...I miss you

Now, it seems to me, that I'm the one that should be worried about attachment issues. But I can't tell him this. It just doesn't work that way.

C'est la vie, right? There's always going to be decisions to be made and it seems to me that this one is not necessarily a right or wrong decision. My guess is that it will become a decision of convenience. So we'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks.