Currently listening...

1. RJD2 - Ghostwriter
2. Chicane - Saltwater
3. M.I.A. - Paper Planes
4. Kings of Tomorrow - Finally
5. Pearl Jam - Evenflow
6. Chris Cornell - Sunshower
7. Radiohead - Karma Police
8. A:xus feat. Naomi - Baghdad Cafe (Callin' U)
9. Kaskade - Meditation to the Groove
10. Astrud Gilberto - The Gentle Rain (RJD2 remix)

Ghostwriter is my song of the week/month/year. I LOVE this song and cannot get enough of it, which is why I don't know how long I will continue to play it over and over and over. I acquired an iPod a few weeks ago and while some of the music on it is pretty decent, most of it I'm unfamiliar with and don't really care to listen to to get to know. However, there is quite a bit of RJD2 on it, which is where I discovered Ghostwriter. This song makes me dance while I'm walking down the street and I don't care what people think.

I looked back through my previous "Currently listening..." posts and didn't see Paper Planes anywhere, which I was surprised about. This is a bouncy song. You'll know what I mean when you listen to it.

The rest of these songs are all worth checking out (obviously or I wouldn't be posting them) and I love being constantly reminded of songs that I have enjoyed for years, but have forgotten about for various reasons.

So I talked to S___ yesterday...

I have the most amazing friends. Seriously. Not because of anything they do for me specifically, just because of who they are, and the way they enrich my life.

We went to Logan on Saturday for a friend's birthday. It wasn't his birthday party, just his birthday and some of his friends in Logan happened to be having a party. So when everyone was getting ready to crash, and he wasn't quite ready to go, I decided to stay with him since the whole reason we were in Logan was because of him. We ended up talking for about 12 hours. A lot of it was talking things out and talking things through, but a lot of it was also just
T A L K I N G. I learned so much about this person that means more to me than almost anyone in my life.

I didn't know I could love people as much as I love my current (and forever) group of friends. Someone outside of the group made the observation that "It's like you're all in love with each other," and when I heard that, I had to agree. I have my friends, family and lovers (in the sense that we're all in love with each other) in one group. Does it get any better than that? My friend and I got along these lines of conversation and were talking about being single versus being in a relationship. At this point I wondered: What if, in twenty years, we're still single. But we have this AMAZING group of friends. Would it really be so terrible to have six other people that you're in love with and that mean everything to you for the rest of your life, as opposed to having that one person? That one person could be everything and absolutely incredible, but would it really be a bad thing if we had each other instead?

This is something I've been giving a lot of thought to over the last little while and I have come to the conclusion that for me, having six is far better than having one. I would rather be where I am with my family than conform to society's standard of "settling down" and being in a traditional relationship. I love my friends; I love my life more now than I ever have before. And that is largely due to my hand-picked family that IS my life.

I'm one of those people

I am one of those people that "surprise" takes my friends on dates. Actually, I never had until last night, but it was a fairly major faux pas.

So I was supposed to go to the Picasso to Monet exhibit with this guy last week, and (half) jokingly I said okay but only if he would take Girl too. He said yes, so then I told him that Skip was coming along as well. No big deal. We didn't end up going to the museum but started talking on Monday about going out this week. So we decided to go to Desert Edge last night to sit on the patio and I asked him if he minded if Skip and Girl joined us. A couple hours later, I received a phone call from Girl wondering if Scott could come along. I hesitated on this one. But in the end said okay. Mostly because Scott's been out of town the last two weeks and I just miss him and wanted to see him. Is that bad?

First off, I rode to the restaurant with Girl and Skip. I live with Girl, it makes sense since I don't have a car to ride with her. So already I felt like we were ganging up on him a little, albeit unintentionally. We went inside and met the guy, and I know that we can be slightly overwhelming so Skip went to the bathroom, he met Girl and then met Skip a couple minutes later. So far, so good. I still hadn't told him that Scott was coming, and I almost felt bad about it. Anyway, Scott showed up and met the guy and we grabbed a table and sat down. Girl and I can be a bit of a handful when we get together. We know this. Since Scott had been out of town, Girl and I got into our high-pitched, excited voices and start talking and laughing hysterically. The poor guy next to me at that point was not only on a non-date with me, but I had my three BEST friends with me and was more into them than I was into him. Oops.

Long story short: We were there for a couple of hours and I didn't completely ignore my date, but I was definitely not as attentive as I could have been. And I ALMOST felt bad.

New Tattoo

Oh, and I think I'm ready for my new tattoo.


I'm using the A Perfect Circle emblem as a template, but I want mine a couple inches lower and not quite as big. Since I'm a Pisces, I'm going to have two fish trailing each other. For some reason, I've just always envisioned the fish in royal blue, but we'll see when I get there.

It is what it is

My favorite saying in the whole world:

it is what it is

Fits any situation, really. To me, it means that whatever "it" is might be good or bad, but however I might feel about "it" doesn't change anything.

For example: The fact that someone very dear to my heart is lying to me upsets me not because of the actual lying, but because there's absolutely NO REASON for the lying. But, it is what it is, and I accept it and now take everything he says with a grain of salt, and a hint of skepticism. To call him on it would risk pushing him away and the lies are not earth-shattering so, to me, the cons outweight the pros of addressing this issue.

While I could go on and on about this saying, I just started feeling very lazy and will suffice it to say this:
Whether or not I am successful in keeping this in mind for interpreting circumstances that I come across does not change the fact that it's something I strive for. It helps me clear my head and not react (or overreact) in the heat of the moment. It prevents my "crimes of passion."

Writing for me

I write this blog for myself. I write so I can work out my feelings with regard to other people, situations and also myself. The things that I write may be interpreted however you wish, but remember that it doesn't matter what they mean to you. I'm the only one that matters here.

Girls, girls, girls

I originally posted this back in February and am reposting it now. It's interesting to note that when I first posted it, I was living with these girls and it just so happens that the last month I have been living with them again.

Here is the original post that I saved when I removed it:


So I moved in with a friend of mine for the month of February and she has two kids. Obviously I've been around children most of my life, but it's been a while. The three year old, Kalaya, likes to climb in bed with me. It's great because I like snuggling her but she falls asleep with a bag of crackers every night. Crumbs. Everywhere. For some reason, I can feel every single, tiny, miniscule piece that ends up between the sheets. Now I know why I was never allowed to eat cookies in bed.

Kalaya is a tantrum thrower. I know I was pretty bad, but I don't remember most of it. Nile, on the other hand, I remember throwing herself on the floor and hitting her head and screaming. This is the kind of tantrum Kalaya throws. Multiple times a day; especially at dinner and bath time. Dinner is a very casual affair. Very rarely are we expected to sit together or even eat together, but every so often when it is required, the girls don't like this change in routine. Kalaya has the scream that is so high pitched it makes you think your ears might start bleeding. This is a tantrum scream, but it's also a playtime scream. It becomes difficult to differentiate between the two, and my ears hurt regardless.

Allee, on the other hand, is fairly reserved. She is eight and EXTREMELY smart; we do her homework together and then she reads to me. She has just started losing teeth, and lost one of her front ones last week. It's so adorable with that space right in front. I don't get as much Allee time as I would like, but it is what it is, and Kalaya is a good substitute. I love these girls and it's been rewarding to have young children back in my life.
That's all.
♥

Subtle Sacrifices

We do it all day, every day. Things we would rather not do in order to accommodate the people we associate with; whether it be friends, family or colleagues. We eat on the patio, when we would rather eat inside. We go to this club, instead of that bar. Small things, really. Things that go unnoticed but in actuality do make a difference. I appreciate those who make subtle sacrifices for me. If I don't verbally express appreciation it's not because I don't feel it. So thank you, for doing those things that you do, even though you may not want to.

more pictures...

Here's a few more pictures.

Pictures

Piper called me today and complained that I don't post pictures with my writing. So here are some pictures from my friend Chantelle's birthday last Friday.