Cleansing

I started the Master Cleanse with a couple of friends on Tuesday so today is DAY 4. From the beginning, I haven't been terribly hungry but with normal hunger you start to feel hungry and then it progresses. When I get hungry with this, it's like all of a sudden I feel like I'm going to die if I don't get something RIGHT NOW! So I have my lemonade close by and whenever I get hungry, have some water/tea/lemonade.

Now this morning, I still have not had any lemonade despite having been up for an hour and a half because when I got to work, I made some mint tea and have my bottle of water next to me. Drinking is pretty constant throughout the day, but when I NEED sustenance, I go for the lemonade. I brought two 32ish oz. bottles of lemonade to work but don't want to go through it too quickly because once I'm out, I have to wait until I get home and today is a 10-hour day. Today's batch of lemonade has slightly less cayenne pepper because I noticed yesterday that my tastebuds are starting to feel a bit numb.

I've noticed (and it describes this in the book) that I have more mucus in my throat. I am slightly more congested, but my throat is pretty covered so I am constantly trying to swallow, since I never learned to spit. I have a slight fever, but all in all feel pretty good. I think I'm going to try and do it through next Sunday, September 7, which will be 13 days but it's a very doable goal.

We'll see how it goes...

Currently listening...

This month's post is dedicated to (one disc of) one album:

Tiesto - In Search of Sunrise 7

Disc: 1
1. Feel the Sun Rise - Banyan Tree
2. Wasted - Andy Duguid
3. Yohkoh (King Unique Original Mix) - King Unique
4. Space Katzle (Jerome Sydenham Remix) - Motorcitysoul
5. Feel the Rhythm (Ton Tb Dub Mix) - Three Drives
6. To Forever (Moonbeam Remix) - Rachael Starr
7. The Storm (Inpetto Remix) - Jerry Ropero
8. Get Lifted - Kamui
9. Ride (Tiesto Remix) - Cary Brothers
10. Denial - Airbase
11. Reason To Believe - Dokmai
12. 6am (Kyau & Albert Remix) - Cressida
13. Power of You - Allure
14. Hua-Hin - Clouded Leopard



I have been listening to this album for a week, nonstop. The disc that I have is not tracked, so I know the whole thing by minutes. My favorite is at minute 37, which is Ride (Tiesto Remix) - Cary Brothers. I really don't know what to write about it because the whole thing is amazing. So check it out.

Follow up

This is a follow-up to the post "Huh? What?" from July 21. And basically, the decision of whether to continue seeing him or not was made for me. He stopped calling on a regular basis, and then stopped calling pretty much altogether. And that's good.

Plus then a LOT of drama started involving him which has made it that much easier to stay away from him completely. So I'm done!

Wakeboards and mosquito bites

Beaucoup mosquito bites!

A couple weekends ago, I was down in Saratoga Springs with some friends and wakeboarded for the first time this summer. We had a blast out on the boat on Saturday evening and Sunday day. Saturday after we came off the lake, we were hanging around outside for just a bit when Skip told me that we were surrounded by a cloud of mosquitoes, and that we should probably head in. I told him that I don't get mosquito bites, which is my standard answer when people start complaining about the little buggers. In actuality, I do get bites, but I've decided that I must not be allergic to mosquitoes because the bites do not itch. I get little red dots that go away after a few days. John said the same thing, and sure enough, when Sunday rolled around, he and I were COVERED with bites. I have, literally, about 40 bites on my right shoulder and arm and I counted at least 35 on my right foot and leg. I've never met anyone else like me that gets bites, but doesn't get irritated by them. So here's to having blood like mine (and John's, I guess): Too bad most of you don't.

Pass the buck?

I work in an industry where EVERYTHING I deal with has to be accounted for, and the ability to account for it must remain intact for seven years. Whether it's the video, exhibits, or actual transcript of a deposition, if something is missing, there's a problem. So when I received a phone call this morning about missing exhibits from a deposition that was taken three weeks ago, the first thought is a little bit of panic trying to remember if I ever had the exhibits, and if so, if I'm the one that has misplaced them. This was dispelled when I talked to the reporter, who informed me that the attorney made a big deal about not wanting the reporter to take the exhibits, and not wanting the exhibits attached to the transcript. When she told me this, I called up the reporting firm that had initially called me and relayed my conversation with the reporter to the contact at the other firm. Now, in my mind, there was no problem on our end. We had done what needed to be done, and it's completely out of our hands. Or so I thought.

Twenty minutes later the phone rang again, and it was the same reporting firm telling me that the attorney told them that the reporter retained the exhibits in order to finish the transcript. So once again, I called the reporter and had THE SAME conversation that she and I had just had half an hour prior to this. That the attorney made a big deal, and was not very nice, about the reporter NOT taking the exhibits. So the reporter made sure that she left them there. So what else could I do except call the reporting firm back, and tell them again that neither the reporter, nor anyone at our firm had ever had the exhibits.

Several hours later, I received ANOTHER phone call, this time from a different person at the same firm who asked if I had talked to the reporter about the exhibits. This was irritating, to say the least, and when I repeated the conversation I had already had twice with the reporter, the woman at the other firm told me that she had spoken to the attorney and the witness, and both of them remember the reporter thumbing through the exhibits while at the job. I talked to the reporter AGAIN, and when I called the reporting firm back, told them that nobody from our firm had ever had the exhibits, and that I was sorry, but there was nothing else I could do for them. The level of disdain in the woman's voice was so great, it literally brought me to tears. Not because I felt bad about what had happened, but because I've already been an emotional wreck this week, and I hate getting yelled at, especially when I haven't done anything to deserve it.

Now obviously, somebody in this scenario is lying. The problem is, it's not me, and I have no idea how to go about finding out who it is. Not that it really matters at this point, but the fact that people are going in circles blaming everyone else when it would be so easy (and make my life much simpler) for someone to buck up and admit that they had the exhibits at one point, and do not have them anymore is frustrating to no end. ESPECIALLY when I found myself in a similar situation recently and when I realized that I had indeed lost the exhibits, immediately told the people that needed to know, and apologized profusely for it. My apology didn't bring them back, and it's still a bit of a sticky situation, but at least there can be trust. Because of what happened in the former situation, I'm having a hard time trusting the people at the other reporting firm, the attorney, and even the reporter that I work with.

I'm not saying that I always do the right thing, or do everything right, but it's very infuriating to think that a lot of people continually pass the buck until it becomes impossible to do so.

Currently listening...

1. Armin Van Buuren - Burned With Desire
2. Jem - They
3. Adam K - Long Distance
4. Kaskade - Your Love Is Black
5. Bob Sinclair - World Hold On
6. Sia - Lentil
7. Kaskade - 4 AM (Adam K & Soha Remix)
8. Zero 7 - The Pageant of the Bizarre
9. The Cure - Lullaby
10. The Cure - Just Like Heaven

So rather than compiling my list the day I post my "Currently listening..." I decided this time to build it throughout the month when I get stuck on a song (or songs), which resulted in a SUPER random list. Of course there's the expected house tracks, and the sentimental ones, but there's also songs I have kind of forgotten about, such as Lullaby. I was at a friend's house a couple of weeks ago and after a long, full, and tiring weekend, he was playing music for us and happened to play Lullaby. I love this song and have not heard it for years. So thank you, Frank.

World Hold On is my new Myspace song; I was listening to this one night with a couple friends while coming home from the club and I WISH I knew how to whistle! This is one of those songs that makes me happy every time I hear it.

The two songs by Kaskade are on his latest album, Strobelite Seduction, which I have mentioned repeatedly, but just cannot get enough of. A dj friend of mine played his remix of one of the tracks and the conversation that ensued was mostly about how the greatest thing about his mix was that now the song is eight minutes long; twice as long as the original, and worth every second of listening.

Then of course, there's Sia. I love her and true love lasts a lifetime. She is the vocalist for The Pageant of the Bizarre as well which is off Zero 7's album, The Garden. I just love her voice. The emotion she puts in is unbelievable. The best show I have EVER seen. Period.

Huh? What?

Some people are far more presumptuous than they should be. Or perhaps they are too presumptuous of certain situations. I'm hoping that the most recent assumptions made on my behalf fall into the latter category.

This guy I've been hanging out with invited me over on Friday night and when I got there proceeded to tell me that I had a crush on him, and that I know he's not looking for anything but I desperately wish that would change, and that I would move in with him and be with him in a heartbeat if he asked me to. Now, only ONE of those things is true. It is true that I have a crush on him. However, the biggest factor preventing me from EVER considering a relationship with him is that he has four children, and I am nowhere near ready to take on motherhood, especially if they're not my own children. Just because I have a crush on him, and enjoy spending time with him, DOES NOT mean I want a relationship with him. Yet somehow, that's all he hears from me. Not only am I not allowed to interrupt him while he's telling me things about myself, I don't even get a chance to respond. So now my question is this: Do I write him an email or text since I can't ever tell him out loud what I'm thinking? Or do I just stop hanging out with him altogether?

Both options have their advantages. I feel that I write fairly well and can express myself through writing so if I write an email detailing my thoughts and feelings, he'll be able to understand a bit more clearly where I'm coming from. Although, if I just cut him off completely, I don't have to worry about how he's going to interpret everything I say. Plus he lives in Herriman, which is just too far to consider a relationship, IF that's what EITHER ONE of us was interested in, which we're not.

After this terribly presumptuous conversation (PC) that we had, he then proceeded to tell me to not get attached to him. Of course, my immediate response is that I'm not getting attached. Which is mostly the case. I do feel an attachment to him, but on a much more platonic than romantic level. I consider him one of my friends and think that I know him better than most of his friends do, at the moment. So any attachment that I'm feeling, is not due to any romantic feelings that I might have, but rather for a friend. So after thinking about it, I told him I'm really not attached to him, in "that way."

Although speaking of attachment...two weeks ago he told me he loved me. So what am I supposed to do with that?? I asked him, and he said not to ever use that against him again. So I said I wouldn't, but I'm still awfully confused about the whole thing. Then, on Thursday morning (the day before the PC) I woke up to a text that said:

Its weird. Don't get the wrong idea...I miss you

Now, it seems to me, that I'm the one that should be worried about attachment issues. But I can't tell him this. It just doesn't work that way.

C'est la vie, right? There's always going to be decisions to be made and it seems to me that this one is not necessarily a right or wrong decision. My guess is that it will become a decision of convenience. So we'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks.