Currently listening...

1. Armin Van Buuren - Burned With Desire
2. Jem - They
3. Adam K - Long Distance
4. Kaskade - Your Love Is Black
5. Bob Sinclair - World Hold On
6. Sia - Lentil
7. Kaskade - 4 AM (Adam K & Soha Remix)
8. Zero 7 - The Pageant of the Bizarre
9. The Cure - Lullaby
10. The Cure - Just Like Heaven

So rather than compiling my list the day I post my "Currently listening..." I decided this time to build it throughout the month when I get stuck on a song (or songs), which resulted in a SUPER random list. Of course there's the expected house tracks, and the sentimental ones, but there's also songs I have kind of forgotten about, such as Lullaby. I was at a friend's house a couple of weeks ago and after a long, full, and tiring weekend, he was playing music for us and happened to play Lullaby. I love this song and have not heard it for years. So thank you, Frank.

World Hold On is my new Myspace song; I was listening to this one night with a couple friends while coming home from the club and I WISH I knew how to whistle! This is one of those songs that makes me happy every time I hear it.

The two songs by Kaskade are on his latest album, Strobelite Seduction, which I have mentioned repeatedly, but just cannot get enough of. A dj friend of mine played his remix of one of the tracks and the conversation that ensued was mostly about how the greatest thing about his mix was that now the song is eight minutes long; twice as long as the original, and worth every second of listening.

Then of course, there's Sia. I love her and true love lasts a lifetime. She is the vocalist for The Pageant of the Bizarre as well which is off Zero 7's album, The Garden. I just love her voice. The emotion she puts in is unbelievable. The best show I have EVER seen. Period.

Huh? What?

Some people are far more presumptuous than they should be. Or perhaps they are too presumptuous of certain situations. I'm hoping that the most recent assumptions made on my behalf fall into the latter category.

This guy I've been hanging out with invited me over on Friday night and when I got there proceeded to tell me that I had a crush on him, and that I know he's not looking for anything but I desperately wish that would change, and that I would move in with him and be with him in a heartbeat if he asked me to. Now, only ONE of those things is true. It is true that I have a crush on him. However, the biggest factor preventing me from EVER considering a relationship with him is that he has four children, and I am nowhere near ready to take on motherhood, especially if they're not my own children. Just because I have a crush on him, and enjoy spending time with him, DOES NOT mean I want a relationship with him. Yet somehow, that's all he hears from me. Not only am I not allowed to interrupt him while he's telling me things about myself, I don't even get a chance to respond. So now my question is this: Do I write him an email or text since I can't ever tell him out loud what I'm thinking? Or do I just stop hanging out with him altogether?

Both options have their advantages. I feel that I write fairly well and can express myself through writing so if I write an email detailing my thoughts and feelings, he'll be able to understand a bit more clearly where I'm coming from. Although, if I just cut him off completely, I don't have to worry about how he's going to interpret everything I say. Plus he lives in Herriman, which is just too far to consider a relationship, IF that's what EITHER ONE of us was interested in, which we're not.

After this terribly presumptuous conversation (PC) that we had, he then proceeded to tell me to not get attached to him. Of course, my immediate response is that I'm not getting attached. Which is mostly the case. I do feel an attachment to him, but on a much more platonic than romantic level. I consider him one of my friends and think that I know him better than most of his friends do, at the moment. So any attachment that I'm feeling, is not due to any romantic feelings that I might have, but rather for a friend. So after thinking about it, I told him I'm really not attached to him, in "that way."

Although speaking of attachment...two weeks ago he told me he loved me. So what am I supposed to do with that?? I asked him, and he said not to ever use that against him again. So I said I wouldn't, but I'm still awfully confused about the whole thing. Then, on Thursday morning (the day before the PC) I woke up to a text that said:

Its weird. Don't get the wrong idea...I miss you

Now, it seems to me, that I'm the one that should be worried about attachment issues. But I can't tell him this. It just doesn't work that way.

C'est la vie, right? There's always going to be decisions to be made and it seems to me that this one is not necessarily a right or wrong decision. My guess is that it will become a decision of convenience. So we'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks.