Currently listening...

1. Deepest Blue - Deepest Blue
2. Above & Beyond - Air For Life (Airwave mix)
3. Plumb - In My Arms (Bimbo Jones remix)
4. Jonas Steur feat. Jennifer Rene - Fall to Pieces
5. Tiesto - Bright Morning Star
6. Markus Schulz - Perfect (Funabashi remix)
7. DJ Metzker Viktoria - Playgirl (Steve Monasse and Taylor Da Hun remix)
8. Chicane and Natasha Bedingfield - Bruised Water
9. Eric Prydz - Frankfurt
10. Kaskade - Be Still (Morgan Page remix)

Most of these songs I found on Pandora but a few of them were also introduced to me by friends. The Plumb song is one of those. My friend J___ played it for me a couple of months ago but lately I've been listening to it a LOT. It gets stuck in my head all the time. The lyrics are great, and her voice is phenomenal.

Perfect is my current favorite song. This remix is one that come on my Deadmau5 Station on Pandora one day and I love love love it. The original isn't bad, but this remix is better.

Playgirl and Bruised Water were given to me by G___. We started listening to Bruised Water in October and Playgirl just a couple of weeks ago. Both are worth checking out. There are several other mixes of Playgirl that are good but after listening to several, this is the one I like the best.

The Kaskade on this list has been around for a long time but I never cared much for the original. I like the lyrics but it's a little too poppy for me. One day I was looking up the lyrics to Be Still and the Morgan Page remix came up as one of the top results. I listened to it and like it WAAAAY better than the original.

Currently listening...

Late again...oops! Here is November's list:

1. Zero 7 - Home
2. Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line
3. Zero 7 - Distractions
4. Sia - Lentil (Live)
5. M'Black - Heartbreak
6. Bird York - Wicked Little High
7. Bird York - In The Deep
8. Orbital - Beached
9. Orbital - Halcyon
10. Ferry Corsten - Fire

I'm going to Zero 7 next week so I've been listening to a lot of my favorite tracks. Simple Things is a fantastic album and all three of the songs listed are on it. I'm so excited for this show!!

Heartbreak is a song from a friend and I really like the vocals on this one. It's a catchy tune and I like it a lot.

Both of the Orbital tracks were given to me by a guy at work, along with several others, but these are the two I like the best (so far). He gave me a TON of music, including the Ferry as well and as soon as I sift through it all, I will most likely post more on next month's list.

The chore that I despise the most

I love doing the dishes. I get immense satisfaction from scrubbing my bathroom. I enjoy vacuuming the floors and even like dusting the few things that gather dust in my house. But I absolutely DESPISE doing my laundry. The actual washing of the clothes. Not folding and putting away said clothes, just washing them. It's an easy one, just sort the clothes and put them in the washer but whenever that time comes, I dread it and put it off. When I grow up and have a housekeeper, the only requirement will be laundry (although I'm sure I'll give up those other chores without much of a fight).

Currently listening...

This is October's posting since I was in Kansas over the weekend. Once again, it is an entire album. The artist is Pretty Lights and the album is titled "Passing By Behind Your Eyes" and here is the track listing:

1. World Of Illusion
2. Sunday School
3. Short Cut/detour
4. If I Could Feel Again
5. Someday Is Everyday
6. Fly Away Another Day
7. Can't Stop Me Now
8. Let Em Know It's Time To Go
9. Lonesome Street
10. City Of One
11. Dark As The Sky
12. Keep Em Bouncin
13. Ask Your Friends

My favorite is City of One. It has a loop of Billie Holliday that I absolutely love. World of Illusion is probably second but the album is really, truly incredible. The beats are bumpin and the piano compliments it nicely. Very worthwhile album to check out. Of all the album posts that I've done, this one comes with the highest recommendation.

swine flu shot and cleansing

Originally, I set my alarm for 5:45 a.m. yesterday to go over to the Salt Lake Valley Health Department for my H1N1 vaccine but when I was woken in the middle of the night by G___ and K___ texting me, I reset it for 6:25. Turns out I should have gotten up even earlier than I was planning. When I woke up, I looked out the window (since I live right by the SLVHD) and could already see cars lining 200 East and the surrounding streets. I got out the door as quickly as possible and got in line around 6:40. I walked quickly down to the corner and when I got there, I was a little warm and glad that I hadn't brought a scarf or hat. Then I waited for four hours outside. 90 minutes into the wait, I was pretty cold. Two hours later, I finally made it up to the building and was in the sun. It felt WONDERFUL. After that, only 30 more minutes and I was inside!! As long as the wait was, I was so glad I had my iPod with me, the reason being two-fold:

- I had music to keep me entertained and dance to
- If I had had to listen to all those kids for four hours, I probably would have killed myself

I'm glad I was able to get the vaccine although there's no way in hell I would have waited that long if I wasn't diabetic. Speaking of, I'm going to my endocrinologist tomorrow and hopefully my A1C will still be in the 7% range. I think it will be; it may even be lower than last time. The cleanse helps me use less insulin and keep my blood sugar under control.

This is the fourth time I have done the Master Cleanse (well, sort of...the third time I did M'Lis which only has three days of the lemonade) and it gets easier each time. Today is Day 4 and I am cruising! I do not feel hungry or tired and I was only a little foggy on Days 1 and 2. Truthfully, I feel great and am looking forward to finishing on Friday to see how much better I feel then. Of course, I'm flying to Kansas Saturday morning so I'll feel great no matter what!

a little of this, a little of that

Life is good. :) Things are going well for me. I have a great job, a cute little place of my own, I got to see my babies this past weekend, I get to see Kaskade on October 30 and then fly to Kansas on Halloween to spend a few days with K___. As far as that goes, things are progressing and he makes me so happy!

While I love my job, it has been CRAZY the past couple of weeks and this week seems to be shaping up in quite the same fashion. I have been accustomed to one or MAYBE two voicemails (if any) when I come in in the morning but lately I've had five or six and today when I got back from the admissions ceremony, I had 10!! Last week our office was closed Monday for Columbus Day and by the end of the day on Tuesday, I had received 35 voicemails and 75 emails. Busy busy busy.

My sister and her family were up from Phoenix last week(end) so I went to my mom's for dinner on Sunday and it was great to see my niece and nephew. They really are adorable and it's fun having little kids around again (as long as they're related to me). It doesn't ever really make me want any of my own, but it's fun to play with them, etc. and then not have any real responsibility for them. (Thanks P___!)

K___ and I were on the phone Saturday night for 2+ hours and decided that I should spend Halloween in Lawrence. I can't wait for this trip (much like all the others) and I'm sure I will not want it to end when the time comes.

Currently listening...

Here is September's list (sorry it's late):

1. Tegan & Sara - In My Bones (Tiesto remix)
2. Tegan & Sara - Back In Your Head (Tiesto remix)
3. Armin Van Buuren feat. Jennifer Rene - Fine Without You
4. Armin Van Buuren feat. Cathy Burton - Rain
5. Attic feat. Julie Thompson - Last Goodbye
6. Fragma - Toca's Miracle (In Petto remix)
7. David Guetta - Baby When the Light (Fred Riester & David Guetta remix)
8. Tiesto - Carpe Noctum
9. DJ Antoine - This Time (Klaas remix)
10. Rhianna - Umbrella (Jody Den Bruder Lush Club remix)

A friend sent me the link to In My Bones which reminded me of Back In Your Head so I wanted to share both of those. Tiesto is a master DJ and mixer. These two are catchy and fun and upbeat.

Armin's album Imagine produced both of the tracks listed above and I really can't get enough of Fine Without You. From Jennifer Rene's voice to the musicality of the song as well as the lyrics, it is a beautiful piece of music. Rain, for whatever reason, touches my heart and almost makes me want to cry.

Last Goodbye has great lyrics but I'm not crazy about the music. I'm still looking for remixes so I might find a better one than the original.

The last four tracks are on a compilation album: Ultra Dance 09 (Disc 1) and so much fun to listen to. The David Guetta remix gets me grooving and singing, even at work. And then when it leads into This Time...ooh, it's so dirty I just love it!! Anyway, I recommend checking them out, and maybe even the whole cd if you can.

All By Myself, Don't Wanna Be...

Wait a minute...I DO want to be all by myself. I moved into an apartment by myself a month ago and I have LOVED every minute of living alone. I miss G___ and the girls, but really do enjoy having my own place. I have realized that I can be a much neater/cleaner person than I have been in the past. I have made my bed EVERY single day that I have slept in it and I've been keeping the rest of my house neat and tidy. Of course, it helps that I don't have much furniture (or space), but even still, I vacuum and dust and have scrubbed the walls and floors and doors.

I have never really needed a lot of alone time but I've always enjoyed being home alone. Now that I'm home alone pretty much all the time, I've come to appreciate and value my alone time. I like being able to be selfish. The idea that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want is something that I've never REALLY considered before because I love spending time with my friends. But I've found in the last month that there have been times when I would rather stay home by myself than go out.

This girl is growing up (finally) and (maybe) becoming an adult!

Check out Bluehouse Skis

A guy I grew up with makes pretty awesome skis...check them out:

www.bluehouseskis.com

Currently listening...

1. Origine - Sanctuary (Harry Lemon remix)
2. Delerium - Innocente (Tiesto remix)
3. Fleetwood Mac - Dreams (Deep Dish remix)
4. Tiesto - Driving to Heaven (Matt Zo remix)
5. DB Boulevard - Point of View
6. Tiesto pres. Allure feat. Julie Thompson - Somewhere Inside
7. Gabriel & Dresden - New Path (Faarsheed remix)
8. Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster Stronger
9. Daft Punk - Face to Face
10. Daft Punk - One More Time

Sanctuary is DEEP HOUSE and I love love LOVE the Harry Lemon remix. I found it on a set by DJ River called The Resolver and it's one of those that I love to listen and groove to.

All of the Tiesto on this list = incredible. Especially the live video of Somewhere Inside. Julie Thompson is so cute and spunky and I want to hang out with her! Tiesto will always be one of my favorites; he is such an amazing DJ.

Point of View is a song that my friends and I love singing to each other. That's all.

New Path is on a set by Faarsheed called Zeitgeist and I cannot find the mix, or one like it. I don't like the original as much, so I would recommend searching to find the Faarsheed Zeitgeist 2-disc set. There are two builds in this song that go higher and higher and you think you're going to explode and then it drops so deep and gives me the chills.

I had a bit of a Daft Punk kick this past month and the reason is that I have a friend who has a live Daft Punk album that we listen to fairly frequently. Daft Punk is incredibly talented and pioneers in electronic music. The reason I like the live album so much is because they mix their songs together so you'll get a teaser of Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, and then they'll go on with what they were playing already. And then do it again. Anyway, the three songs listed are my favorites.

Currently listening...

This month's posting is an entire album (as I do from time to time). It is the first CD in a two-disc set compiled by Armin Van Buuren titled: A State of Trance 2009. The first disc is On the Beach. Here is the tracklist:

1. John O’Callaghan feat. Lo-Fi Sugar - Never Fade Away (Andy Duguid Mix - On the Beach Intro Edit)
2. Sunlounger feat. Kyler England - Change Your Mind (Myon and Shane 54 Remix)
3. M6 - Paradise Lost
4. Ron Hagen & Pascal M - Riddles In The Sand
5. Mat Zo - The Fractal Universe
6. The Blizzard with Gåte - Iselilja (Sunn Jellie & The Blizzard Dub Remix)
7. Monogato - Miami Vibe (Omnia Remix)
8. Josh Gabriel presents Winter Kills - Deep Down
9. Myon and Shane 54 feat. Aruna - Helpless (Monster Mix)
10. tyDi feat. Audrey Gallagher - You Walk Away
11. Andy Moor & Ashley Wallbridge feat. Meighan Nealon - Faces
12. Rex Mundi feat. Susana - Nothing At All
13. Jerome Isma-Ae - Shaguar
14. Dash Berlin with Cerf, Mitiska & Jaren - Man On The Run (Nic Chagall Remix)

My favorites are 1-2, 7-10, 12-14...so basically the whole album. My favorite lyrically is You Walk Away but the best drop is in Helpless. It gets down and dirty and it's so unexpected that you'll probably have to listen to it a couple of times right off the bat. Man On the Run is all-over incredible; a MUST listen for everyone. Deep Down is a fun one and the first one that caught my attention. I love the guitar on Miami Vibe (which I'm listening to right now). It's a bit more trancey than I usually like but the guitar tempers it to the point of love for me.

If you like Armin or trance or electronic music in general, you won't be disappointed in this album. In fact, I would even go as far to say that you will be blown away by it like I have been. This album is worth listening three, four, better make it 20 times. Thanks G___!!

Sun Valley, Cristina's and Paper Writing...Oh my!

Sun Valley was a very different experience this time around. I have an endless supply of fond memories of Sun Valley summers that involved bike riding, swimming, paddle-boating, and Scrabble - not to mention friends. Since Sun Valley is so contained, we were essentially turned loose with no supervision for 4-5 days every summer. I went back for the first time in almost 10 years this week and, needless to say, it was quite a different experience.

The reason for that was twofold: I am no longer a child and childhood memories are often idealistic AND I was working. I still had a good time because it was Sun Valley, but I didn't get much of a vacation. EARLY early mornings on Thursday and Friday followed by a (singular) early morning on Saturday made me more tired than I usually am. The food, however, was amazing and definitely the highlight of my trip. N___'s birthday was yesterday and since she was with me, we went out to a birthday breakfast this morning before we left. We went to Cristina's (which was a place I had never been before) and everything was AMAZING! I had a crab salad on an english muffin topped with melted gruyere and tomato wedges. It was one of the best breakfasts I have ever had. N___ had huckleberry buttermilk pancakes and she said that while they weren't the best pancakes she's ever had, they were delicious. Oh, and the patio was fantastic as well. I could have spent all day on that patio.

We left Ketchum about 10:30 a.m. and headed back to Salt Lake. I actually like driving so it was fine with me. I had my new CD (thanks G___!) and it played about 3 times each way. It was good driving music! We got back to Salt Lake just after 3:00 p.m. and when I got home, the house was 87 degrees. It's still pretty hot in here but it's getting more manageable. I had (have) a paper to write that I meant to take to Sun Valley with me but it completely slipped my mind on Wednesday morning so I started trying to write it when I got home. It's the first paper I've written in 5-6 years and it's much more difficult than I anticipated. I ACTUALLY started writing it about six and worked for a good two hours before getting distracted. All in all, I've written about half and keep finding ways to procrastinate. This is the last distraction and then I'm going to finish it so I can go to bed!

I'm so glad that it's a short work week; the 24th is one of the only times I can (in good conscience) say: Thank god I live in Utah!! However, I have a conference on Saturday which means I don't get to go to the lake with the Crew. :( I am severely disappointed about that and trying to work out a plan so that M___ and I can still go on Saturday night.

It has been a whirlwind of a week and I can't believe tomorrow is Monday but bring it on, baby cause I am ready for the next four days!

Currently listening...

1. Adam K & Soha - Long Distance
2. Armin Van Buuren feat. Raccoon - Love You More (Daniel Kandi remix)
3. Judge Roy Bean - 95 Pieces
4. Judge Roy Bean - Hard Way
5. Judge Roy Bean - Crawling
6. ATB - Justify
7. ATB - 9 PM (Till I Come)
8. Moby - Disco Lies (Freemasons remix)
9. Andain - Beautiful Things (Gabriel and Dresden remix)
10. Madonna and Paul Oakenfold - Give It To Me

Long Distance reminds me of driving last summer with K___. We spent tons of time together and got to be close friends and this was one of the songs that he introduced me to.

I posted Love You More on my November 2008 "Currently listening..." but the Daniel Kandi remix is definitely worth checking out. The piano is particularly beautiful and striking.

Judge Roy Bean was included in last month's post but didn't have many songs. These three are my favorite. I especially love the style of 95 Pieces, the interlude at 4:00 on Hard Way, and the lyrics of Crawling. I'm definitely digging JRB.

ATB is always a favorite but I've recently discovered Justify and have been listening to it on repeat. Jennifer Karr is the vocalist.

Give It To Me is AMAZING! It gets dirty and good right away and takes you on a journey worth going on. This one is awesome to listen to with headphones. I got totally lost in it this way and love love LOVED it! Ooh...it gives me chills!

Currently listening...

1. Claude Debussy - Clair de Lune
2. Hello Goodbye - Here In Your Arms
3. Arcade Fire - Intervention
4. Moby - Lies (Freemason remix)
5. Peter Bjorn and John - Blue Period Picasso
6. The Postal Service - This Place is a Prison
7. Foo Fighters - Walking After You
8. Judge Roy Bean - Penguins
9. Judge Roy Bean - I Don't Mind
10. A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras

I don't really have anything to say today. This is May's list (since I totally spaced it last week). Judge Roy Bean is a new discovery and I'm enjoying them quite a lot. You can listen here: http://www.jrbshovelhead.com/

My friend J___ in Germany

A few years ago I was at a bar and ran into a friend who had a girl, J___, with him that I absolutely KNEW I knew from somewhere. So I asked if she went to the U and thought perhaps we had a class together. Her response was a disdainful, "I am at least ten years older than you." Well, having the same group of friends, she and I saw each other pretty regularly and then one night, another friend of mine used her last name. I remembered that name! The next time I saw her, I asked if she played soccer and if she had ever coached a Nike Soccer Camp up in Park City? It turned out that J___ was my soccer coach when I was 13 years old up in Park City. So, we figured out that she's eight years older than me, not ten.

Now J___ lives in Germany. We talk for an hour or so almost every day. Yesterday, Jenn called a few times and we probably spent 2-3 hours on the phone. She kept putting me on speakerphone so that her roommate could hear all of my stories. Apparently, I have a lot of funny stories because her roommate made the comment that she understands now why J___ and I spend so much time talking and laughing on the phone. Of course, her roommate is from Minnesota so during one of the calls, J___ put her on the phone so that I could hear the Minnesota accent. It was pretty funny. At least as funny as the fact that I could hear J___ laughing HYSTERICALLY in the background while her roommate was doing the "voice" for me.

Currently listening...

1. Above & Beyond - Can't Sleep
2. Above & Beyond - Sky Falls Down (Armin Van Buuren remix)
3. Above & Beyond - Good For Me
4. Above & Beyond - Alone Tonight
5. DJ Spiller feat. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Groovejet
6. Freemasons - Vacancies
7. Armin Van Buuren - In and Out of Love
8. Oceanlab - Satellite
9. Amber - Sexual
10. Tiesto - Honey (Chicane Club remix)

I saw Above & Beyond a couple of weeks ago. Amazing. I am so so glad we went. I had a great time with good people, new friends, and awesome music. Of course, leading up to the show, I started listening to tracks I knew I already liked by them, and finding new ones. Can't Sleep was an instant favorite. Sky Falls Down and Good For Me took a few listens before they grew on me but I can't get enough of both of these tracks now. Justine Suissa has such a pure, ethereal voice. I wish she had been here with Above & Beyond, but it was a great show even without her.

Alright...I'm feeling quite lazy and don't think I will write about the other songs. Just know that they are good (well, if you share my musical taste)!

Currently listening...

1. Deadmau5 - Arguru
2. Cerf, Mitiska & Jaren - You Never Said (Dash Berlin remix)
3. Deadmau5 - Not Exactly
4. Deadmau5 - Brazil
5. The Script - BreakEven
6. Gianluca Motta feat. Molly - All Alone (Deadmau5 remix)
7. Fall Out Boy - Thnks fr th Mmrs
8. Chris Lake feat. Nastala - If You Knew
9. Tim Davison feat. Stacey Kitson - Deliver Me (Hush remix)
10. Newton Faulkner covering Massive Attack - Teardrop

Clearly I've been on a Deadmau5 kick since I went to see him for my birthday. The first time I found Arguru on YouTube, I knew Christian had put it on one of his sets. Well, I found out this week that it's on TWO of his sets; "Deliver Me" and "Global" (which also has You Never Said). I'm really into Deadmau5's sound right now and have been leaning towards a little harder trance tracks.

Some of my favorite lyrics I have ever heard come from You Never Said. "I'm right back where I started out, not a lot to show just memories." That's how I have felt for the last couple of years. I don't really have anything to show for what I've been doing with my life, but I would not trade the people I've met, and the experiences I've had for anything in the world. Not even my medical degree (beside the point that I don't actually have it yet).

The Chris Lake track is on Skip's Picks Vol. 2 and is my ABSOLUTE favorite on that disc. It is nice and dirty and has awesome piano and gets me groovin every time I hear it!

Deliver Me is the last track on Christian's "Deliver Me" set. When I looked it up on YouTube, the Hush remix was just the first one that came up and it happened to be the right mix. I listened to the original, but it wasn't the one that I knew from Christian's set. This one, again, is a bit harder but I'm really into it. I could listen to this one over and over.

The Massive Attack cover is by an artist that a girl at work pointed me towards. I can't remember the song she sent me to, but I saw that he had a cover of Teardrop, so I listened and ended up really liking it. When I have some more time, I think I'll check out more of Newton Faulkner's stuff. He could be worth finding out about.

Finally, The Script. BreakEven is a song that N___ gave me saying that she couldn't stop listening to it over and over and over and over. I listened, and liked the lyrics a lot. Then the tune got me. I'm with her 100% on BreakEven; I LOVE IT! Well worth listening to, at least a couple of times.

Update #3

A lot has happened in the last few months so I thought I would do another "Update" post.

I am still living with G___ and her two girls.

I have an AMAZING job with the Utah State Bar that I love and has incredible benefits (which are worth at least as much as my salary).

I'm back on my insulin pump. My A1C in January was 8.1% and I go again next week (April 1st) and am incredibly anxious to see how I've been doing.

I have a boy in Kansas and things are good. Even though I'm not entirely sure our "status" I feel like things are progressing. He is good for me and I love him.

I just recently figured out what to do with my life. And that entails finishing my Bachelor's degree in Chemistry and then going to medical school. K___ (in Kansas) is someone that has been inspirational in recognizing his dreams and then taking the necessary steps to actualize them. Since making this decision, I have reapplied (and been reaccepted) to the U and am SO excited to finally get my life started...hopefully by the time I'm 35 :)

I turned 25 on March 15th and had the best birthday ever! We partied at S___'s house and I wore my party dress and saw Deadmau5 and had breakfast at Porcupine and hit a bucket of balls and had Sunday Funday and kicked off summer, according to Sh___. It was wicked fun!!

Just like the last "Update," I have never been as happy as I am now. It just keeps getting better!

Quarter Century Mark

Whew, I made it! I will be 25 on Sunday and I am so excited for my birthday. We are going to see Deadmau5 (yay!) on Friday out at Saltair (boo) to start the celebration. G___ did such a good job planning my party last year that she said she would take care of everything and I should just sit back and relax. Which I fully intend on doing. I will post an update of the weekend's debauchery, I mean...festivities sometime next week.

I love my birthday. Even if there isn't a whole lot going on on Sunday (my actual birthday) I still just love it!

Every year I give a birthday present to myself, and this year it is a plane ticket to Kansas. I was talking to K___ on Monday about it and decided that it would be the best birthday present ever. The flight I'll be on lands in KC at 10:45pm on the 19th so when we were texting on Monday, I asked if he was okay picking me up that late and his response was:

Yes, any time is fine with me if it's you.

My heart melted a litle bit more for him when I got that one. I'm going to have a hard time waiting several more months after this trip before seeing him again.

Currently listening...

1. Gabriel and Dresden - Enemy
2. Oceanlab - Miracle (Martin Roth vocal remix)
3. Eurhythmics - Here Comes the Rain Again (Freemasons remix)
4. Chris Lake - Only One
5. Oceanlab - On a Good Day
6. Treitl Hammond feat. Dominique - Little More (Manendra remix)
7. Goldfrapp - Black Cherry
8. Nightmares On Wax - 70s 80s (RJD2 remix)
9. Robbie Rivera - Float Away (Dubfire remix)
10. Chris's Last Words

Eight of the ten songs listed remind me of Christian. Unfortunately, the last song listed is one that I may never know the actual title or artist because it's part of one of Christian's sets. S___ titled it "Chris's Last Words" so I'm going with that but won't be able to truly share it.

"Enemy" is on the same set and it is my new favorite song. My favorite line is "incremental changes and incidental highs". But really, all of the lyrics in this one are very meaningful, at least to me.

I remember the first time he played "Here Comes the Rain Again" for me and G___. We were at a house party down in Provo in September and S___ came and brought us to the dance floor to hear it.

The two Oceanlab songs and "Little More" are on Skip's Picks: Vol. 2. "Little More" is nice and dirty and fun to dance to. Oceanlab helped me and my family get through the days just following Christian's death.

I remember Christian talking about "Only One" and "Float Away" with G___. And that's how most of my music is. It reminds me of him because I can hear what he said about it. Or I remember the look on his face the first time he played a song. Or how excited he was about doing a remix. Thank you, Christian.

Following suit...

I was reading the blog of a friend today and he said:

I am deciding to make this blog, more blog like, with humor filled stories from my day to day. It’s more for my prosperity than anything else.

Now, I know he meant "posterity" instead of "prosperity" but it made me laugh so I decided to quote it directly. Anyway, the point is that after reading that, I decided to try and follow this paradigm. I'm not sure how many funny stories I have in my day to day, but I laugh a lot so that must mean I have some.

Of course, nothing funny has happened today since I have a MASSIVE hangover. But I'll get back to being funny soon enough and start posting the funnies for everyone's (or at least C__'s since I know she reads this) enjoyment.

Deliver Me

Every time I looked through the CDs in the car, I would see "Deliver Me" and think it was another album called "Deliverance" and when I realized it wasn't, I never put it in. Deliver Me is a set compiled by my friend Christian Seamons, aka DJ Pilot. He was 32, and died early on February 16, 2009. Since then, I have listened to Deliver Me, and many other of his sets several times.

I had not been to a viewing since my dad, 18 years ago. Initially, the body in the casket did not look like Christian, but the more I looked, the more I could see him in there. At the funeral the next day, G___ and I could not handle ourselves appropriately and so we left. We took several of Christian's CDs and drove around celebrating him in the way that we found most fitting. We were laughing and dancing and having fun. Saturday was probably the hardest day of my entire life, but it was also a really good day. G___ and I joked all day that even though we didn't have anything except the funeral planned, we had so much to do that we were glad we could squeeze the funeral into our schedule. Nothing we did was inappropriate, although perhaps some people might have viewed it that way.

All week leading up to the funeral, his death had hit me really hard, but at the same time was still so surreal that I felt like perhaps I might still wake up and he would be here. And though I know that he's not, I still can't quite believe that Christian will never play another song for me. Crosses (the Tiesto remix) was the song that I would always request for him to play. And every time he played it, I was right there, front and center, dancing and singing for him. S___ made the comment on Saturday that while Christian played requests, there was something special about the relationship that G___ and I had with him that was different when he played our requests. It was like he was always waiting for us to arrive, and was so excited when we would finally show up. We used to tell people that "we bring the dj and the dancers and the party enhancers!" meaning S___ and Christian.

I am one of very few people who called him Christian. To most people, he was Chris. Even this, in my mind, made the relationship that I had with him a bit more special. He was a big brother that I never had. And I love him and miss him so so much.

This is the first time I have dealt with death as an adult, and the feelings and emotions are COMPLETELY different than with my dad. The memories that I have with my dad are special, because he was my dad. But the memories I have about Christian will always make me happy. There is so much music that he introduced me to and every time I hear one of those songs, I will think of him. Music invokes such vivid memories anyway and now that Christian is gone, they are more valuable to me.

Someone made a comment to me last night that I am too young to have friends die. Which I fully agree with, but doesn't change the fact that it happens. My dad was 33; Christian was 32. Perhaps it will always feel like I am too young for my friends and family to die.

Lawrence, KS: Part Deux

I have had a great time here in Lawrence. It has definitely been a learning experience. K___ has opened up to me more than ever, and I have really appreciated that. I don't know what it all means, or where to go from here, but I feel like we are progressing in some sort of positive direction. On Friday night, all we did was talk. And he did almost all of the talking.

There isn't much in Lawrence besides the University of Kansas, but in my opinion, we don't need much besides each other right now. Just hanging out has been very enjoyable. We drove around the campus yesterday and that was fun. It also got me excited to get back into school myself. It's nice to talk to him about school because he's so supportive, and has been quite inspiring for me; watching him pursue his dream.

I can't complain about where things are right now. I don't expect them to change any time soon, but am hopeful for the future.

what does that MEAN?

I'm not exactly sure when I became that girl, but I find myself doing things because of the boy that I'm interested in. I like sports, but I have been following his team lately so that I can talk to him about it. Weird! Well, maybe not...I mean, it's natural to find and share common interests, right?

One of the things that draws me to him is his intelligence. But his specific interests, while many are the same as mine, don't always automatically appeal to me so I try and educate myself on topics that grab his attention. I'm not pretending to like them just because he does, but I feel like it's beneficial to expand my horizons because of him. So getting to the title of this post, what does all of this MEAN? Am I sabotaging a potential relationship by doing things that I might not normally do? I don't think I'm pretending to be someone I'm not but I also feel like I'm not in a position to judge that.

I guess it is what it is.

Back to Kansas

I'm going back to Kansas next Friday, the 13th. I can't even express how excited i am for this! K___ booked my ticket last night and made my day, night, week, weekend, etc. I leave at 8:00am on the 13 and fly in to SL at 7ish on the 17. It's going to be a nice, long weekend. I'm looking forward to spending more time with him. It will be nice to just relax and BE with someone. Last time I was there we only went out once, and I imagine that this time will be about the same. I can't wait!

My life!!

So I do like my new job but of course the first time I was on my own, I made SEVERAL mistakes. Not huge, "they're going to fire me" mistakes, but enough to make me look completely incompetent. I forgot that they needed a projector, but that was an easy fix. I forgot to get petty cash for people paying at the door. I didn't print enough materials. But the biggest one was that I didn't order enough food. I know this is a big one, but you'd think that not getting lunch was like asking them to go without food for a week! Anyway, disaster was averted when there was extra food from another event however, I still got the most withering looks.

Currently listening...

1. Bomb the Bass - Black River
2. Sigur Ros - Saeglopur
3. Coldplay - Viva La Vida
4. George Acosta - Trust
5. Whitest Boy Alive - Golden Cage (Fred Falke remix)
6. Tiesto and BT - Love Comes Again
7. Kaskade - Sweet Love
8. Pearl Jam - Black
9. Ben Folds - Rockin' the Suburbs
10. Narcotic Thrust - I Like It

This is a VERY random selection for this month. I guess the one I can't get enough of is Golden Cage. This is a song that may take a little getting used to but pretty soon you'll find yourself humming it at work, etc. It is FUNKY and a lot of fun! This song came from Skip, as did Black River. Another one that is a lot of fun. It is dark and delicious!

I Like It was one of the songs that R___ and I used to listen to before we went out. We would be driving in the Lexus with all the windows and the sunroof down and have the music up as loud as possible, just belting the lyrics and dancing. I heard another song that was on the same CD recently which reminded me of this one and I had to add it to the list.

Saeglopur is on a commercial for the Prince of Persia video game and it is absolutely beautiful. It has a piercing melody and a good balance between elements. I think it's a little hard to listen to the entire seven minutes, but it is good for background music that you can tune in and out of. While I don't listen to the whole thing at once, it is still a good find.

The other songs listed are my "oldies but goodies" for this month. A friend of mine reminded me of the lyrics to Black and got me thinking about that. Other than that, the Tiesto/BT is a favorite as is Sweet Love. But I can pretty much guarantee that anything Kaskade is worth listening to.

Whoa! Wow!

S___ posted a video on Facebook yesterday and I cannot get enough of it! It makes me laugh hysterically every time I watch it. Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37EMBdL9-bw

I am rejoining the ranks of contributing members of society tomorrow...

I start my new job tomorrow. I will be working for the Utah State Bar Continuing Legal Education department. I am so excited! I would have been happy with any job, but I'm ecstatic that I got this job.

I interviewed for it in December and got a second interview, but they ended up hiring someone else. I really wanted this job so I was pretty disappointed when I didn't get it. The job started on January 5, and on January 9 I got a call from the woman that I interviewed with saying that the girl they hired wasn't working out and she was going to have to let her go. Then she told me that she should have hired me in the first place, which was nice to hear.

So, working for the state means I have great benefits, which I'm more excited about than anything else. It means I can start using my pump again, and not go completely bankrupt from buying insulin and other supplies.

On a side note, I went to the endocrinologist last week and my A1c is down to 8.3% which is better than it's been in 2 years! I know it's not great, but it's a hell of a lot better than it's been and it's motivation to get it even lower by April.

Life is really hard, but I have never been happier!