Currently listening...

1. Fragma - Toca Me (Inpetto 2008 mix)
2. ATB - Renegade (A&T mix)
3. New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle
4. Motorcycle feat. Tiesto - As The Rush Comes
5. Dirty Vegas - Days Go By
6. Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into the Dark
7. Snow Patrol - Set the Fire to the Third Bar
8. Tiesto - ISOS 5 (first three tracks)
9. A Perfect Circle - Brena
10. Paul Oakenfold (feat. Brittany Murphy) - Faster Kill Pussycat

Songs that make me happy and sad. Fast songs and slow songs. Most of these remind me of a particular person or situation and I can't listen to them without thinking of that person, or being transported back into that situation. The remixes of the first two songs are the only ones I will listen to. I haven't found another mix that even comes close to those listed.

The music video for Days Go By is one of my all-time favorites. The Death Cab and Snow Patrol videos are also among those that I could watch over and over and over. Martha Wainwright's haunting vocals on Set the Fire to the Third Bar are what initially drew me to that song. Incredible. Absolutely incredible.

and so it goes...

I know that I set myself up for this but it still hurts. And just when it seems that things are falling into place, there's that one person or action or instance that throws a wrench into my perfectly manicured life. He created a web of deceit and made it impossible to decipher what was actually reality.

It hurts to know that the most important thing in my life is gone. Partially by my own choice, and partially by his own discretion. I work five hours a day, five days a week. Other than that, we were together all the time. Nobody spends that much time with one person. We slept in the same bed, we had all the same friends, we went to the same bars. Even if we were just at home, we never tired of each other or reached the end of the obviously bottomless cache of conversation topics.

So even though I am not in love with him, I love him so much that my heart is broken. It hurts.

Currently listening...

1. Sia - The Girl You Lost to Cocaine
2. System of a Down - Aerials
3. Incubus - Beware! Criminal
4. Incubus - Warning
5. Incubus - 11 am
6. Incubus - Summer Romance (Anti-Gravity Lovesong)
7. Chicane - Saltwater
8. Incubus - The Warmth
9. Wax Poetic (feat. Norah Jones) - Angel
10. Sia (2007 KCRW set) - Breathe Me

So I kind of went on an Incubus kick (obv) but it reminded me of how much I truly love their music. Sia...what can I say about her except she is AMAZING. I saw her perform a couple of weeks ago and I had tears in my eyes and chills up and down my arms, legs, spine, and entire body. If you are unfamiliar with her music, you should definitely check it out. Her name is Sia Furler and she's Australian. She's very weird; cuckoo weird but still adorable. Her music, especially the lyrics mean so much to me.